Thread by @BusterUSMC

1. Dear Civilian Friends,
I need to tell you something about Memorial Day. . .
Something that you're doing, well...it's just very wrong...

2. Now before you get upset with me, I know you have big plans. I’ve seen your patriotic barbecue board on Pinterest; I've seen that your 'flag cake' really is pretty darn spiffy too.

3. I know you're doing a ton of work to make it a "party to remember" and you know what? You're only half wrong. Let me try to help you.

4. Memorial Day is NOT about your cake; nor is it about your very well thought out barbecue; nor is it to "officially recognize the start of summer:" nor is it for you to get, undoubtedly a much needed, day off of work....

5. 💔Memorial Day is a very somber day...
...It is literally a day of mourning...

6. Now, I know that u 'get it' in the broader sense, bec I've bn told of how u 'tear up' watching the news and seeing the surprise 'welcome home' videos of returning military members, coming home from a long deployment overseas...and to be honest, sometimes I get teary-eyed too!

7. And I know your heart is in your throat, when you hear about yet another life of a military member ending with a free flight home, lying softly inside a flag-draped cold steel box, lost in the line of duty.

8. But we need to talk about what Memorial Day really means, in real life, and what you can actually do with that knowledge...Especially on this Memorial Day.

9. I am going to start by saying "I love all of you" whose intentions of respecting military members and veterans on Memorial Day are honorable, but yet at times is so horribly wrong. Let me try to break it down for you in a few simple steps.

10. Please...STOP tagging every veteran you know on Facebook and wishing them a “Happy Memorial Day.” There is NOTHING "Happy" about this day...By the end of my post, you will 'get it' I promise you.

11. Perhaps this will help you understand my point, a little better, by hearing my partner's perspective. Here's her point:

12. Tonight, I am going to fall asleep next to my Marine, with his arm around my waist. Then, in the morning I’ll wake up with warm breath on my neck, once again. And God willing, we will repeat the ending of one day, and the beginning of a new one over and over again.

13. Tomorrow, I will no doubt, get to be "annoyed" by the shoes he again left lying by the stairs that, inevitably I will trip on; I will sigh deeply once again, frustrated that I'm wiping his single drop of coffee that he didn't seem to notice on the counter;

14. ..and the way he never quite seems to manage to put the toilet seat down after he flushes will again make me say out loud "dear Lord, why..!?"
But I also get to see the way he comforts our son, when he skins his knee while playing on his skateboard.

15. And how he seems to seamlessly soothe and calm our daughter down instantly, when she’s tired and cranky. I get to experience his warm loving voice, as he stares into my weary eyes quietly whispering that ..

16. "...this is why I married you babe" followed by a soft kiss on the back of my neck.... and then...I get to give him some of that same love, right back to him...sometimes, deep into the night.

17. I am an incredibly lucky spouse of a United States Marine. But as a "brown-bag-packing" military spouse, I have too many of my friends who no longer are so lucky and blessed, as I am.

18. They’d do anything, just to get into one last meaningless argument over who knows what or why, with their spouse...just one last time.

19. They haven’t 'made eyes' or been smiled at, pinched in the ass or felt his strong hands cupping her face, and they never will again on this earth.

20. Never again will the fallen dad have a chance to shower their daughter with "little butterfly kisses" nor will ever say "let's go play catch' with their son...

21. ...and their children will never feel their daddy's big strong protective arms, hugging those tiny bodies who so desperately need their daddy to tell mommy " please don't cry, it's gonna be okay."

22. Yet morning after morning -just like yesterday and today, and just like tomorrow, and the day after that, they will NEVER again wake up to the weight of his strong chiseled arm, wrapped around her body as she falls asleep.

23. They wake up every morning instead, with the weight of the world sitting on top of them, screaming inside their broken spirit, telling them not to get up to another day of emptiness...an emptiness that fortunately, you and I just don’t know.

24. THIS IS Memorial Day, YOU only experience one time each year.

But for these fellow friends whose spouse came home in a box and with an American Flag gently covering it, EVERY DAMN DAY is Memorial Day.

25. But on THIS day, if only on this one single day each year for THESE widows and their children, you and I MUST be there with the greatest respect and with empathy we must be there for them.

26. Now, hear me out, it doesn’t mean you can’t have that big barbecue. After all, many of our friends are doing the same. You can have a big, patriotic gathering with the awesome patriotic flag cake I saw you post;

27. ...light your fireworks; share your love, smiles and laughter. Just remember to do all of that, while also taking a moment to remember WHY we are NOT "celebrating"

28. ...rather we are "reflecting, mourning and respecting" the men and women who died serving our country protecting our freedoms that seem to be under a constant threat.

29. Go ahead, host your barbecue with style. Enjoy the laughter and moments you get to experience when everyone you love is pooling around you like a warm summer's breeze.

30. ~But when you sit down at the table, please set aside an empty chair and make it a place of honor, for these service members who never made it home.

31. 🪑Look at that empty chair, empty plate and empty glass. Then honor what that emptiness signifies to the spouse, her tiny children; the parents, sibling and friends, who also experience this emptiness every single moment, of every single day.

32. Remember their life...then mourn their death.

And when you raise your glass to toast, don’t just welcome the start of summer. Say a word for the spouse who now must "carry on" sitting next to an empty chair at the head of her table, wishing her partner was there.

33. Pledge to be there for that family, and find a way to make that promise true...even if it's only through a phone call, or an email, or a post, but just promise to be there.
~Now back to Memorial Day...

34. 🕒Around the 3pm local time rolls around, stop the festivities. Honor our National Moment of Silence, and fill that time with reflection; empathy; sorrow; gratitude; praise and your commitment to remember.

~It’s really that damn easy...
much easier than you think.~

35. 🙏Tonight, when you tuck your child down for the night, kneel with them at their bedside.

Tell them "we're going to talk to God now" and in a sincere and solemn whispered voice ..

36.🙏~First thank God for this very moment in time; thank Him for the life He has given to each one of you, and for allowing you and your family yet another beautiful day of life today. ...

37. Then, you are going to hold your child just a little closer with one arm around them and still on your knees, and continue in prayer.

You're going to let God know that you have a favor to ask Him..

38. 🙏~Now tell God that you need to pray for, especially those who have: a friend who seems to be always so sad; a daddy who seems lost in his sorrow, or a mommy whose heart seems to slowly be bleeding out one tear at a time, ...

39. and for the teenager who seems to be heading down the wrong path.

..maybe they just need someone to look at them deeply in the eyes, smile at them warmly and say "it's gonna be okay today."

40. 🙏~And finally, make sure you tell God, and your little one, how much you love them and tell them with all your heart. End with an Amen and a hug and kiss then remind your child how important our job is...

41. to reflect on our life and our love, then ask that God that He spreads that gift of our love, His love...to ALL of the brokenhearted families around them. Remind them that God is listening to all our little prayers.

42. You can do ALL of that & still enjoy your paid vacation day /family, friends &neighbors with your red, white, & blue picnic.
BUT.........Please.....

43. 📵👇DO NOT👇📵
'tag' me...and do NOT 'tag' every veteran you know, or don't know on Facebook.
This is NOT a Day For US.
(That's what Veteran’s Day is for)

44. And please DO NOT wish me, or any veteran a "Happy Memorial Day" (believe me, there's nothing "happy" about this day's purpose)......

45. 🇺🇸🙏Memorial Day🙏🇺🇸
💔Reflecting, Mourning & Respect💔
It's a Promise to NEVER EVER Forget Them.
Respectfully,
I Am Just One of The Lucky
💚Marine Corps Veterans

Photo: Shot by Buster Usmc
Shot at the Brown County Fairgrounds
De Pere, Wisconsin

~End