A thread, by "popular demand" ...

Me: Hey Rosa, do you know the difference between entomology and etymology?

Rosa: I can’t find the words for how much your #dadjokes bug me.
Me: Rosa, have you noticed I love bad puns?

Rosa: Gee no dad, I never noticed.

Me: That’s just how eye roll.
Hey Rosa, I have a joke about trickle-down economics, but I'm afraid 99% of the people will never get it.
Me: Hey Rosa, did I tell you about the time I walked into a bar?

Rosa: Yeah. You always lose the limbo contest.
Hey Rosa, I have a joke about chemistry, but I don’t think it’ll get a reaction.
Me: Hey Rosa, can you pick up some pasta at the bodega on the way home.

Rosa: Sure, why?

Me: We’re penne-less.
If you're agonizing about where these come from:

And for the last one, a little fiscal humor:

• • •

Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to force a refresh
 

Keep Current with Brad Lander

Brad Lander Profile picture

Stay in touch and get notified when new unrolls are available from this author!

Read all threads

This Thread may be Removed Anytime!

PDF

Twitter may remove this content at anytime! Save it as PDF for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video
  1. Follow @ThreadReaderApp to mention us!

  2. From a Twitter thread mention us with a keyword "unroll"
@threadreaderapp unroll

Practice here first or read more on our help page!

More from @bradlander

3 Jun
Thank you @BrooklynCB6 for hosting today’s public hearing on the Gowanus rezoning & providing many ways for community members to engage in the planning process over the past decade.

I’m joining today’s hearing both on zoom & in person.

Links below to watch and/or testify.
There’s a lot of distrust of rezonings, and with good reason. It so often feels like communities aren’t given a real voice, like developers get whatever they want, like the affordable housing isn’t really affordable, like City Hall doesn’t care about the neighborhoods we live in.
But we also know that we need to find smart, sustainable ways to strengthen & preserve the neighborhoods we love -- while doing more to make them inclusive and affordable.
Read 7 tweets
31 May
Powerful to be @NationalAction Network on the 100th anniversary of the Tulsa massacre.

“Accounting for racial justice” starts with telling the truth about our history, looking squarely at our present — and then demanding racial equity in our budgets, investments & public policy. Image
Thanks to @NationalAction’s Derek Perkinson and @NANYouthHuddle’s Follyvi Dossa for moderating tonight’s forum with the NYC Comptroller candidates.

@DPerkMediaLLC @chieffo_
Thx again @hmcghee @ALBChiefAuditor @JumaaneWilliams for the vision of “accounting for racial justice” that we discussed on last week’s town-hall.

The next Comptroller can help NYC move past “drained pool politics” to build a thriving city for all of us.

drive.google.com/file/d/1GjEI5r…
Read 4 tweets
30 Jun 20
I committed to vote no on the City's FY21 budget if it did not cut at least $1B from the NYPD. Not moving budget lines around. But real, meaningful cuts.

The budget being voted on tonight does NOT cut $1B from the NYPD.

So I will be voting NO.

THREAD
I approached this year’s budget with these principles in mind:

🔹Divest from policing to preserve the social safety net.
🔹Prioritize public health.
🔹Invest in a just recovery.
🔹Take a smart, long-term approach to our city’s economic health.
Reducing NYPD spending is BOTH:

🔹a necessary first step toward transforming our approach to public safety (so we stop using policing to confront every problem from homelessness to mental health to DV to school safety)

AND:

🔹a fiscal necessity this year given the pandemic.
Read 12 tweets
5 Jun 20
Last night, @JumaaneWilliams and I were able to help de-escalate a tense standoff between the NYPD and a group of non-violent protestors.

But let’s be clear: it never should have escalated to begin with.

A few observations.

The march, like others around the city last night, had been proceeding peacefully for hours around downtown Bklyn. A diverse group of about 1000 young people, crying out for justice for #GeorgeFloyd, to defund the police, to insist that #BlackLivesMatter.

At many points, the march was self-policing. A protestor would throw a bag of garbage into the street; another would put it back on the sidewalk.

A young white man climbed up a sign & started causing a disturbance. A young black woman gently but insistently pulled him down.
Read 17 tweets
31 May 20
This is the most anxious time for our city & country I can remember. Some thoughts on what we must do together & what I am committing to incl:

-Start from listening to Black ppl
-Deescalate the police
-#Repeal50A
-NYPD hiring freeze #NYCBudgetJustice

landerfornyc.com/words/2020/5/3…
The starting place for this moment, in general, but especially for white people, is to listen as honestly as we can to Black people about the anger and pain they are feeling, and the system of white supremacy and systemic racism it reflects.
The police have to deescalate. In NYC & elsewhere, we've seen officers violently shoving people, indiscriminately spraying pepper-spray, in one case removing a man’s mask before spraying him, and even police violently driving their cars into a crowd
Read 9 tweets
25 Apr 20
We need to start planning seriously for what to do about transit & transportation in the very challenging coming months.

Our city & our region depend on it.

A few thoughts here, with props to @julehrm @jonorcutt @SamSchwartzEng @RidersAlliance @TransAlt @TransitCenter
Some starting points:

⚙️Many people will understandably fear & avoid subways & buses.
⚙️Many essential workers are taking subways & buses right now.
⚙️We need a wide range of options for the medium term.
⚙️We must save mass transit for the long term.
One thing all New Yorkers can agree on: We must have more federal emergency funding for the @MTA. MTA is 39% of US transit ridership, but only 14% of CARES transit funding.

Congressional delegation is pushing hard, but we need a stronger mass outcry.

reinventalbany.org/wp-content/upl…
Read 14 tweets

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!


This site is made by just two indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3/month or $30/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Too expensive? Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal Become our Patreon

Thank you for your support!

Follow Us on Twitter!

:(