Discover and read the best of Twitter Threads about #dadjokes

Most recents (10)

We need some inspiration. Join us to celebrate people fighting for our planet w/#30EarthMonthHeroes. The rules: 1⃣Tag a person who does great things to protect the environment 2⃣tag+thread another the next day 3⃣Repeat thru April. Explainer via @TaotaoTasi southernfriedscience.com/30-earth-month…
1) One of our #30EarthMonthHeroes is our previous president @brooke2cents. Beyond the leadership she provided us, Brooke trains conservationists on how to design outreach plans that motivate action. Check out her work on sustainable fishing in Mongolia: brooketully.com/making-sustain…
Read 31 tweets
(1 / many, you'll see😳) Egypt was beautiful* (more to come on that). First, here are the jaw-dropping photos I took + travel advice:
Can't recommend Pyramids View Inn in Giza enough. This is from the roofdeck where you get breakfast. It's cheaper vs the 2 luxury hotels further away. The staff is honest (so important here), and while they gently steer you into their tours, in most cases, it's a positive upsell.
Day + night view, and a "Stella" beer to go with it. There's a pyramid light show at 7pm in English (free for you from this vantage point), but it's skippable. Could be better if you're viewing it in front of the Sphinx with a paid ticket.🤷🏻‍♂️
Read 32 tweets
After immense prayer & reflection, I'm announcing my candidacy for US Congress in Virginia District 1.

I have conviction in people, not corps, & seek your support to build a more inclusive, compassionate, & fair nation—together. #RashidForVA

Donate: secure.actblue.com/donate/rashidf…
Launch Day Update #1:
•Already in the hundreds of donors for today
•$4.20: Smallest donation
•$0 from Mega Corps
•$0 from Corp Super PACS
•1 Dad Joke to be tweeted soon

Our Goal is 1000+ donors today

$5 or $2800—every bit helps. Join in
#RashidForVA
secure.actblue.com/donate/rashidf…
Wife:What if you don't win?

Me: We have a great team & great constituents—we'll win

Wife: But what if?

Me: Then I'll have to start my backup plan—open a dinosaur themed Mexican Thai fusion restaurant

Wife: Really?

Me: Yep—I'll call it Thairannosaurus Mex😅#DadJokes

Wife: 🤦🏾‍♀️
Read 5 tweets
*THREAD*

1.) WE, THE PEQPLE - "Everything has meaning"

Ever since I started following Q in November 2017, I began looking at EVERYTHING differently. It was like an area of my brain that had gone unused was suddenly unlocked.
#TheGreatAwakening #Qanon #WWG1WGA #QArmy #MAGA #KAG
2.) Words, phrases, letters and numbers have taken on new meaning and I no longer read them mindlessly. Using my newfound critical analysis, I zeroed in on Q's signatures.

#QAnon began as "Q Clearance Patriot" in Drop 34 and signed off as "Q" for the first time in Drop 61.
3.) Q+ first surfaces in Drop 791.
Is Q+ @realDonaldTrump?
@POTUS points at @Q_AnonBaby while he's wearing a #QAnon shirt, he meets Trump and asks about Q (DJT says he knows they are good people) and then receives his photo with DJT with (((+))) on back of pic.
Read 17 tweets
Star Wars (1977): The first Millennium Falcon, by @ILMVFX modelmakers.

Aka the "Pirate Ship".

Only the cockpit and the radar dish will be recycled for "our" Millennium Falcon.

A known story. ==> thread.
The design of the "pirate ship" comes from the study model made by Colin Cantwell, from the beginning of 1975.
A design that followed the guidelines of George Lucas.
Read 47 tweets
Happy #FathersDay! And, since we know how much you love our #dadjokes, we're at it again this year!

Share yours with us 👇
How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!
When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.
Read 12 tweets
A short thread on running for office in USA as an immigrant

45 ran on the claim that America isn't great & we need to "MAGA"

As I campaign for VA Senate on the premise that we can make VA a better place to live, I'm told, "If you don't like it, go back to the Middle East."

/1
1—I’m not Middle Eastern but racists tend to see all brown people spanning 200 nations as one group anyway

2—Even if I was from the ME, fascinating how xenophobes demand immigrants “assimilate,” and then clutch their pearls when we promote democracy by running for office🤔

/2
Why exactly are so many so afraid of immigrants, people of color, women,& other minorities running for office?

Are they afraid of becoming minorities themselves?

Have minorities been mistreated or something in US history? /s🤔

Their fear makes them lash out, for example:

/3
Read 8 tweets
Hey NYC, I’m the keynote speaker at an event on the life of Prophet Muhammad (sa) this Sunday at 1:30pm EST.

Q/A to follow after the lecture. And yes, I'll be wearing my awesome hat.

Tickets are free for this event but limited seating, so RSVP: vp.lis@ahmadiyya.us
Just arrived at the hotel to speak on Prophet Muhammad (sa) and the first thing I see is a sign for a Psychic conference

For a moment I thought I was in the wrong place because I did Not see that coming.😅
#DadJokes

(Our event starts at 2pm!)
Full house and great interfaith gathering at our event on Prophet Muhammad (sa).

I’m speaking in a few minutes on the life of Prophet Muhammad (sa) & peace.
Read 3 tweets
Benefits of having three kids #1:
Absolutely noone (family & others) gives unprompted parenting advice anymore (probably because they gave up).
Benefits of having three kids #2:
Being able to say (in theory) things like: “well, *some* of my kids play Golf”
Benefits of having three kids #3:
Being able to switch from man to zone defense at home.
Read 33 tweets

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