As a Labour Party member I very much wish that BOTH Jeremy Corbyn and Tony Blair would fuck off out of the public discourse.
Being in Labour is like your mum got divorced twice, but both exs keep showing up at family BBQs.
You don't invite them but SOMEONE in the family keeps leaking the date.
"Tony's turned up. His Mercs blocking the street"
"Jez is making a scene cos the potato salad isn't vegan"
You don't invite them but SOMEONE in the family keeps leaking the date.
"Tony's turned up. His Mercs blocking the street"
"Jez is making a scene cos the potato salad isn't vegan"
Meanwhile Gordon, who she dated for a bit between them and you kinda liked, always politely turns down your invites because he "doesn't want to cause a scene"
Which is a shame, because that one time he DID turn up he brought an absolute STACK of burgers from a proper butcher.
Which is a shame, because that one time he DID turn up he brought an absolute STACK of burgers from a proper butcher.
But no. You're stuck at another BBQ watching Jez' and Tony's kids fight YET AGAIN, and meanwhile your uncle (who you KNOW was the fucker who secretly invited both of them on facebook) sidles up to you and is all:
"This would never have happened if your dad John was still around"
"This would never have happened if your dad John was still around"
You always invite Ed, and nobody objects. Because he always turns up, brings more than his share of beer, and is happy to leave early and give all the old dears a ride home.
Your mum and him are still good mates too.
Your mum and him are still good mates too.
https://www.twitter.com/DrAshleyNova/status/1401455882786033666
She's dating some lawyer guy now though who seems legit nice, and keeps trying to get the rest of the kids to calm the fuck down a bit.
But you just cannot be ARSED to get to know him properly until he's proven he can survive these sodding summer BBQs for at least four years.
But you just cannot be ARSED to get to know him properly until he's proven he can survive these sodding summer BBQs for at least four years.
Plus you've noticed that Ed's old mate "Burney" has grown his hair out and picked his accent up again since moving back north.
And now every time he tags along with Ed to the BBQ you see him giving your mum the eye.
And now every time he tags along with Ed to the BBQ you see him giving your mum the eye.
• • •
Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to
force a refresh
