It's amazing how much less "social anxiety" I have now that I don't force myself to interact with people I don't get along with. I always thought it was nerves I needed to push through when in reality it's often my intuition saying "you're not enjoying this situation or person".
It's just ridiculous that we are all supposed to be super social with everyone we meet in every circumstance, and if we don't want to do that then there must be something wrong with us, and the burden is on us to fix it.
The amount of social events I would brute-force myself into, and then spend the whole time biting my tongue, being bored, and escaping to the bathroom for breaks is...honestly a bit heartbreaking upon reflection. Worse are the ones that involved people who actually harmed me.
I'm not saying social anxiety isn't a thing, and I'm not trying to diminish anybody's experiences of it. It's just that, for me personally, often the voice telling me I shouldn't go to that party is RIGHT. Most events I feel dread beforehand do turn out to be bad, or boring.
Actually engaging with any anxiety I have about social events (rather than dismissing it as irrational nerves) has helped me determine what I DO like about socialising. I'm more social now than ever- because I'm not spending all my energy on people I don't enjoy the company of.
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