Thread by @jspujji

Everyone has only ONE problem.

And it's the same problem.

It's called: The Upper Limit Problem.

Trouble celebrating a big win? When everything is going well, do you wait for "bad stuff"? Then know it

Read this 🧵to to learn abt it, id it and fix it...

Each person has an "inner thermostat" of success/happiness that was set for us as children.

When we exceed our "setting," we unconsciously do things to sabotage ourselves to come back into the familiar/comfortable "temperature."

The classic example: a lotto winner.

It's a proven fact that most lotto winners, regardless of the size of the prize, report similar or LOWER happiness 5-10 years post win.

So much "success" in one area overwhelms their neurosis and they "bring themselves down" in other areas

Lots of classic examples. The rock star who develops a drug problem. The entrepreneur who makes it big and then loses it all. The sports star who gets a huge injury.

Often times, success in one area leads you to "lower temperature" in another area.

Big financial win, you fight with your spouse.

Got married, your startup fails.

Book published, you broke your leg.

So what causes this? How do we address it? @GayHendricks tackles this in his amazing book "The Big Leap" and I was taught it by @davekashen through his work with @ConsciousLG.

It has changed my life plus created an entirely new perspective for me.

Here is my summary:

We create "Upper Limits" because of some combination of 4 hidden barriers:
1) Feeling fundamentally flawed
2) Disloyalty and Abandonment
3) More success = Bigger burden
4) Fear of outshining

Let's unpack:

1) Feeling fundamentally flawed - "The biggest and most widely shared fear is that we feel there is something fundamentally wrong with us and we are undeserving/worthy of great success and happiness"

We hold ourselves back because we believe we don't deserve it.

Think about the classic saying: "what goes up must come down?" Is that really true? It doesn't have to be.

The unconscious thing your brain says: "I cannot expand to my full creative genius because something is fundamentally wrong with me"

2) Disloyalty and Abandonment - If I am successful, that will be leaving people behind who have been there for me.

We fear too much success is abandoning our roots and will leave us alone.

Think: Why do so many celebs have an "entourage?"

The unconscious thing your brain says: "I cannot expand to my full success because it would cause me to end up all alone, be disloyal to my roots and leave behind people from my past"

3) More success = More burden.

Remember the Biggie song, mo money mo problems?

Your brain: "I can't expand to my highest potential because I'd be an even bigger burden than I am now"

4) The Fear of Outshining.

Classic in gifted kids with siblings. They are taught if you shine too much, you'll make others look or feel bad. Success triggers this fear.

Brain: "I must not expand to my full success, if I did I will outshine ______ and __ would look/feel bad"

So how do you know when you are "Upper Limiting"?

You can't fix something you don't notice so "awareness" is the most impt. The common behaviors when you're upper limiting:
+ Doubt
+ Worry
+ Criticism
+ Blame
+ Guilt
+ And even, getting sick... (seriously)

Essentially, negative thoughts, self talk, behaviors. Self-sabotage.

So when you notice these behaviors, how do you address them?

At a high level, its a slow "raising" of your internal thermostat to believe you can/are deserving of great success.

I do and have done many of these things and can confirm they absolutely work and have led me to great success. (and they are very much a WIP.)

Here are some steps:

First step - Notice. Slow down. Take a breath. Make space to notice when you are doing these behaviors. Find the outer edge of your "thermostat." What happens that causes you to worry/criticize/negative self talk.

Second - Be gentle with yourself. Your thermostat has been set/reinforced your whole life.

Worry/blame/negative talk will come back consistently. That's ok. It's your ego protecting itself.

Third - insert more positive self talk. @GayHendricks suggests this Mantra (which I can vouch for albeit a bit corny): "I expand in abundance, success, and love every day, as I inspire those around me to do the same."

Write it down once a day. Post on your computer. Say it.

Another good one: "Letting yourself savor natural good feelings is a direct way to transcend your Upper Limit Problem. By extending your ability to feel positive feelings, you expand your tolerance for things going well in your life."

Fourth - Live in your "Zone of Genius": "Your activities in this zone are the things you most love to do and the things that bring you most abundance and satisfaction per time spent."

Things that you are good at, that bring you success and that give you ENERGY.

(Lots of successful people get trapped in their Zone of Excellence which they are good at and may bring success, but depletes their energy, this is not sustainable.)

With a real commitment to these 4 things, I believe you can raise your Upper Limit and the results are incredible.

You will notice more success with less effort. Things will feel "Lucky." And yes you, can have it all.

Last, my favorite quote from the book:

"Fear is excitement without the breath. Here’s what this intriguing statement means: the very same mechanisms that produce excitement also produce fear, and any fear can be transformed into excitement by breathing fully with it."

If you enjoyed this, please follow me @jspujji.

I tweet about bootstrapping, DTC, growth marketing and personal growth.

RT this thread to teach others about THE UPPER LIMIT PROBLEM so we all can enjoy more success/happiness!

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