My wife got tired of my constant moaning & convinced me to see a podiatrist. It's official: I'm flat-footed. Awesome. Thank you Pakistani genetics. Podiatrist said get a pedicure to help. I resisted due to traditional male stereotypes. Finally got one. I understand @RadioFreeTom.
They even give you a foot massage. I had no idea.
Since Twitter is no place for nuance, let me clarify: the pedicure wasn't the solution for flat-footedness, just that the scrubbing/shaving down could help ease some pain from the callouses. So I went, & it did. Most likely must do an orthotic and try it out. Hopefully, it helps.
And I never thought I'd ever do a thread on this topic but here's to being 40.

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More from @WajahatAli

15 Jun
I'm watching the House Committee on Oversight and Reform hearing on the Jan 6th insurrection -- people have no idea how close we were to Trump and GOP cancelling a free and fair election and overthrowing democracy. The Republicans who helped them are still the judge and jury.
Republicans, who blocked a bipartisan commission to investigate the insurrection and have slavish loyalty to Trump, so far are instead asking why aren't there hearings on Fauci emails and Wuhan lab. They want to move on. I would to if I was an accomplice.
The only conclusion I have after watching the Republicans in this hearing is that there will definitely try to do another coup if they lose. It's inevitable. Meanwhile, Americans are saddled with "bipartisan" Manchin, Sinema and "centrist Democrats." What a mess.
Read 6 tweets
22 May
A Marriage Story:

Me: Sarah, when can we come back from this (outdoor, socially distanced, mask wearing) event?

Sarah: We haven't even gone yet.

Me: Do you need me to go?

Sarah: Yes.

Me: No one cares if I go.

Sarah: Everyone cares.

1/
Me: Do I need to wear a suit?

Sarah: It's a wedding.

Me: So I can wear jeans?

Sarah: No.

Me: Why?

Sarah: No.

Me: When can we come back?

Sarah: After it’s done.

Me: When is it done?

Sarah: In the evening.

Me: Can I come home after the food?

Sarah: No.

2/
Me: Can you stay with your friends?

Sarah: No

Me: I don’t know anyone there.

Sarah: You know everyone there.

Me: They’re not my friends.

Sarah: All of them are your friends.

Me: I don’t have friends.

Sarah: Stop being melodramatic. Not everyone hates you.

3/
Read 6 tweets
13 May
People, the Lego Store called me and said they finally have the giant Millennium Falcon in stock...
I have saved money for this Lego Millennium Falcon. I have told my wife one day it will be mine. I said I'd gift it to myself for finishing my book if it ever came back in stock. It is now in stock. I do not know if I'm being tempted by the Force or the Dark Side...
Image
Read 4 tweets
26 Mar
I want to hear Georgia sports teams speak up about the GOP's blatant Jim Crow voter suppression against its own black citizens.

@ATLHawks, @Braves, @AtlantaFalcons - are you all cool with this? If so, how do you defend it to your own players and fans?
Also, would love to hear from major corporations in Georgia. How do you feel about Brian Kemp and the GOP's latestvoter suppression against black citizens?

- @CocaCola
- @HomeDepot
- @UPS
- @RandstadUSA
- @Delta
- @Arbys
- Hansen Beverage?
- @CoxMediaGrp?
Georgia is called "Hollywood of the South" bc so many movies & TV shows are filmed there. Do these studios support GOP's latest voter suppression against black citizens? Will they still do business there?

- @WarnerMedia
- @Disney
- @netflix
- @WalkingDead_AMC
Read 5 tweets
19 Mar
I asked everyone about what's the best butter recently and it got Kerrygold to trend. Well, they just sent me an entire box of butter and cheese for St. Patrick's Day. God bless the Irish.
Ok. Just tried it. That's some bomb ass cheese and butter. Respect.
My mother tells me I've officially "made it." A son of immigrants receives butter due to a tweet. The American Dream realized. Tear of pride.
Read 6 tweets
14 Mar
I want to remind the world that DANCES WITH WOLVES won Best Picture and Best Director over GOODFELLAS and Scorcese and this is why the Oscars are mostly useless.
Some of you have responded to my tweet saying Dances With Wolves is better than Goodfellas. Your opinion is incorrect and may God have mercy on your souls. I will now use this thread to correct some sins of Oscars' recent past...
2010: SOCIAL NETWORK should have won Best Picture & Best Director (Fincher) over KING'S SPEECH/Tom Hooper. You know who watches King's Speech twice? People who fall asleep on the couch while it's on. It's a fine movie. It's FINE. But nobody says, "Hey, let's watch Kings Speech!"
Read 14 tweets

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