This final reflection isn’t really a story. It really just centers on gratitude.
Yup.
Was internship tough? Yes. Was I scared a lot? You better believe it.
But damn, I loved that year. So, so much.
Let me explain why:
2/ I didn’t know if then, but that year was where I cultivated a #growthmindset.
It was humbling.
It was inspiring.
It was empowering.
And—dare I say it? It was fun.
It was.
3/ The learning curve was exponential. The new relationships and expectations were overwhelming at times but, in hindsight, they were the best part.
Totally.
One thing I’m super glad about is that I heeded some great advice I heard during my intern orientation. . . .
4/ One of our chief residents said something like:
“Pay attention. This year is magical—but fleeting. You will blink and it will be over. So keep your eyes open and hold the magic close to your chest. Then it will always be inside of you.”
Not a direct quote. But close.
5/ And so. I paid attention. I journaled and reflected and watched and learned.
Because of that, I remember it all.
And even though there was joy, pain, sunshine, and rain. . . there was always magic. And there still is.
Always if you know it’s there and look for it.
Yup.
6/ So my advice to interns of all ages is the same that was given to me.
Pay attention.
Feel the magic.
Then hold it close to your chest.
And also. . .
The days are long but the year is short. You know stuff. You’re ready.
7/ P.S. As a habitual reflector, I have an entire collection of July 1 selfies from former trainees. I tell them someday they’ll be glad that they have that photo.
I sure wish I had one.
So that’s my last advice—take a July 1 selfie. And tag me, okay?
1/ Mostly I have remained quiet about #twitter verification and (what I like to call) Black physician #verifygate.
Partly because I'd like to believe that verification starts with how we feel about ourselves.
But I'll also admit it's a form of self-protection.
You know?
2/ I also think of how, historically, there are so many examples of successful people who look like me who do or don't get the metaphorical blue check for their work.
So you say the thing we always say:
"You don't verify me. My community verifies me."
Right? Right.
3/ But then, if you have enough time, it creeps into your thoughts. And, even if it doesn't really mean anything, you think about it.
You know?
And listen. Since I'm generally not a person who likes to be upset, I will instead shape this into a case.
Them: "You need to steer clear of Ida."
Me: "Which one is Ida?"
Them: *head gesture* "The one talking to our attending. She's legendary for going off on interns."
Me: *swallows hard*
Them: "Look. She even checks attendings."
I looked.
2/ Ida's hands were animated as she talked. I noticed the way her biceps bulged at the meeting of her scrub sleeve when she moved her arms. Her head was up and eye contact deliberate.
3/ It startled me when they both erupted into laughter. It was warm and respectful. The attending said something else and she said something back. Both gave knowing nods.
And that was it.
Them: "Most of the nurses here are cool. Not her, though."
Me: "I just. . .I think I just think of the worst thing that could always happen, you know? Like. . .someone counting on me and me alone to know everything."
Him: "Where was medical school?"
Me: "Meharry."
Him: "Oh--wait. Where is Ma-Hahry again?"
Me: "Um. Oh. Meharry? It's in Nashville."
Him: "That's right. I knew a guy who went there. He was nice."
Me: *awkward smile*
*names/details changed
2/ My attending looked to the other intern on my team.
Him: "And Mick--you went to Michigan, right?"
Mick: "Go Blue."
Him: "Don't say that too loud in Ohio!"
*laughter*
Him: "I almost went there. But I knew my parents would disown me so I changed my mind."
Mick: *smiles*
3/ Him: "Do you know *names of several people at Michigan*?"
Mick: "Oh yeah! *One of the people* retired this year."
Him: "Really? He's one of my heroes."
Mick: "Totally. And *other person I never heard of* was my attending for my sub-I."
Him: "Lucky you."