5 things people can do right now
- to NOT land up someone they care for, into therapy
A thread
When I was reading @LoriGottlieb1's “Maybe You Should Talk to Someone”, she presented some fascinating examples of how well we humans project ourselves on social media, and different we truly are – especially in front of a therapist (aka in reality)!
So, it always helps to NOT judge someone based on their cool Insta stories or memes they share 😊
Rather, here are 5 things we can do, that take very little effort, for us to make sure people around us do NOT land into therapy:
1. Don’t scold or talk with dominance:
Not everyone can process that.
Even when they’ve made a mistake, they need love to get over it, not lecture to see how hopeless they are.
If they care (and most likely they do), they'll make it better.
If they don’t, scolding won't help.
Love me when I least deserve it, because that’s when, I most need it.
2. Check with them – without any intent
When we take out even 3-5 minutes a day checking in on someone – we not only make them feel great, we make ourselves feel good.
“Hey, just wanted to drop a hi! Because we haven’t spoken in a while :)
Or perhaps:
“How you doin?”
Don’t think, “Even they didn’t check in with me!”
YOU be the giver you’ve always needed.
Because, a giver is always fulfilled.
3. Remember people’s freakin birthdays
Can’t remember? Put it down on a calendar.
Their birthday is the most awaited event for everyone – whether they say it or not.
This tiny act makes the other person know they are cared.
And that’s priceless 😊
4. Exit those groups
I know I've been a part of those smaller, private groups - where some member of the group is excluded.
Even if we're just having fun, the other person who is NOT there always gets a feeling that they are excluded. Not the best thing for them...
We are not human beings with vibes, we are all vibes with a body.
Our vibes reach before our words.
5. Keep yourself happy
The world is going to be harsh. Your hopes are going to be shattered.
When you keep yourself happy, you can do that to others as well.
When you keep others happy without doing it to yourself, it is silently asking for a transaction.
Who all you can do this to?
- Family
- At least those 3-4 close friends
- Colleagues (because we spend max time with them)
- Anyone else you care for
Goodness shouldn't be restrictive, it has to be expansive :)
And now, about me:
I’m cool with my parents
Having work I enjoy
The days are joyful
And, I take therapy.
Not because of diagnosed depression, rather to resolve my issues.
Issues that I picked up while not being aware.
Issues that I perhaps may have given to others as well.
For the past 1.5 years,
- We have broken the first wave
- We have broken the second wave
- But come March 2020, and most of us have been so much broken from inside – that the moment we step on to put those pieces of glass together, we end up further bruising ourselves.
And thus, external help needed.
Sometimes therapy. Sometimes our own choices and actions – so that people we care for don’t land up someday – into therapy.
Nothing of this is difficult.
It is all about paying attention - for no other reason, but because you care :)
Fin.
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