Thread by @pptsapper

PSA: this account is going to be mostly Gettysburg-based for the next few days, with some Vicksburg thrown in, so if that's not your thing, be warned

This begins with the annual re-watch of "Gettysburg," coinciding with the next gin and tonic, in about fifteen minutes

IT IS TIME

This was our favorite movie, dad and I. Practically wore out the VHS tapes. Is a big reason I got into history, and then joined the military

Ironically, I think the Killer Angels -which the movie is based on - is rather a shit book.

Lardo Confederate picket NCOIC is a point where we all have to drink, it's just the rules, sorry

Moxley Sorrel's confidence in Stuart's cavalry is adorable, and horribly misplaced

Also, Lee had a whole brigade of cavalry that Stuart left with him but that he didn't use for recon

Woopsies

JLC wakes up about as gracefully as I do

That is to say, not gracefully

Not gonna lie, "we have mutineers coming" is not something I'd put on my commanders wake-up criteria

Hahahaha, Buster's comments about the 2nd Mainers being fine big fellas comes from Burnside's Mud March where basically the Army of the Potomac got stuck in the mud and had a giant fist fight, wherein the 2nd Maine reigned supreme

And yes, JLC's first name was actually "Lawrence"

He was named for James Lawrence, USN, he of the "don't give up the ship! Fight her till she sinks" fame

"you are relieved, captain" is JLC's way of saying "step off, bitch"

For reference, the 2nd Maine had been fighting since 1861, when they stared down Stuart's Black Horse Cavalry at Bull Run

These guys are legit OGs

"This does not happen much in the history of the world. We are an army out to set other men free"

I know this isn't a real JLC speech but damn, I'd walk thru fire after hearing this

"it's the idea that we all have value"

YES, OK, I'LL ADMIT IT, I WANTED TO BE CAVALRY THE MOMENT I SAW BUFORD

sheesh, who could NOT want to be after seeing that

I love that in this scene you can see that out of every four men, 1 is left to hold the horses as the other 3 dismount

When Cav fought dismounted, they thus dropped to 3/4 strength

What I don't love is that it shows the cav fighting as infantry rather than in skirmish line

Ugh, watching the director's cut and it's got Lee all like "we will treat the locals with dignity"

Motherfucker, you took any African-Americans you could find and sent them back to the south into slavery

Spare me the bullshit chivalry

Lol the whole battle starts because Lee can't even impress his commander's intent on his corps and division commanders

So much for that "greatest general of the war" thing

Goddamn if that blue I Corps flag isn't one of the most beautiful sights in all of cinema

Only closely followed by the colors of the 2nd Wisconsin

Lucius Fairchild bout to fuck some shit UP

GET EM, BADGERS

Goddam Iron Brigade gonna make me cry

Mix up some Badgers, Wolverines, and Hoosiers and you get one of the finest fighting units of the US Army

And now we get an abbreviated first day's fight, nothing of the fight the the XI Corps put up against three times their number, not even Hubert "hot pants"Dilger knocking out three enemy guns on his own, plugging the muzzle of one with his own shot

Ah, fighting for our "rights"

How is it that you'd like to live, Mississippi boy?

What is that one tiny little thing that you differed on with your countrymen to the north?

Oh right, you wanted to own other people, that's what it was

Poor Dick Garnett. Jackson shamed him for withdrawing the Stonewall Brigade exactly when it should've been withdrawn to save its destruction. So, Garnett felt like he had to die in battle to erase the stain.

And Jim Kemper...dude, you gave FAR MORE of your precious states rights to the Confederate government than you ever did to the US

Pity we don't get to see more of Gibbon

He's the one who meets Buford outside HQ. A native North Carolinian and FA guy, and a BEAST of a fighter. He trained the Iron Brigade and personally sighted many of the shots of Btty B, 4th US Art, which was attached to the brigade

Which, incidentally, was the battery that removed Ewell's leg, Ewell being the one that Trimble is ranting about right now, about how he would've loved to have led his division in a night attack against Cemetery Hill

As if, the I Corps didn't wanna retreat the first time

It's also shameful that we only see George Meade this one time, after all the fawning over Lee

Lee stayed in his HQ the whole battle

Meade visited every part of his line, met with all his commanders, and was very involved in decision making

However - this depiction of Lee, as frenetic, as not listening to his corps commanders, is actually an accurate depiction given how out of touch he was during the battle

But it was Meade's victory, not Lee's defeat.

Ah well, can't ask for everything

"we should've freed the slaves and THEN fired on fort Sumter"

Sorry, drained my drink at that colossally ridiculous remark and have to get another one brb

Tom berenger played the shit outta this role btw, fake beard and all

Absolutely outstanding

"I swore an oath, too"

You did indeed, Jimmy Longstreet. You did indeed. So did Bobby Lee.

You both forgot it.

Gibbon didn't forget it. George Thomas didn't forget it. Winfield Scott didn't forget it.

All fellow southerners. Huh.

GodDAMMIT Estabrook, stop throwing up and go fight ffs

When your cook gets sick, then the problem might be...the cook

Strong Vincent, you sexy beast of a man, you hard fighting Harvard lawyer, you should've at least been given your due of you rallying your brigade, brandishing your wife's riding crop, yelling "don't give an inch!"

"we are the flank"

CHILLS

The attitude of the mutineers of the 2nd Maine:

JLC straight up changing the alignment of his regiment while also engaged

That's how professors fight

THE LION OF BOWDOIN IS PREPARING TO ROAR

Those Alabama boys... Going straight from a forced march, no chance to eat or get water, right into battle against a smaller, very stubborn force. Courage worthy of a better cause.

"Tom, go plug that hole over there"

His own BROTHER

Because of course I have a sword engraved "Bayonet, Forward!"

ROAR, YOU LION OF BOWDOIN

GO STRAIGHT TO HELL WITH YOUR REBEL YELL, WE ARE THE BOYS FROM MAINE

With all due to the Ghost of Paul Revere

Poor James Rice. Another lawyer, from Massachusetts, mortally wounded at Spotsylvania a year later

"Turn me over that I may die with my face to the enemy"

Pickett telling the same story again and Kemper and Garnett being like "oh fuck not this again"

Was as if Pickett was like "well, back in basic..."

Richard Jordan, in his last role before he died, did an incredible job as Armistead. So much human feeling and passion.

He had an ancestor in one of the men of the 2d Maine on Little Round Top, ironically

God, what a colossal tragedy the Civil War was, only redeemed by the destruction of slavery and the freedom of all. The 2nd founding of America. "Every drop of blood drawn with the lash shall be paid by another drawn with the sword," as Lincoln said

I am HERE for Stuart getting treated like a petulant child, yes

His father in law stayed true to his oath, something Stuart said he would regret permanently. He didn't. Stuart, however, got a permanent regret via dying at Yellow Tavern

Lee: "take the heights in the center and split the enemy line"

Longstreet:

Lee gambling his weakest arm, artillery, against the strongest US arm, artillery, like

*James Bond has entered the battle*

James Lazenby plays Pettigrew

Some real Buford-level Schadenfreude from Longstreet here

Buford: "as if you can almost see the lines of troops ascending to the stony top, as if there's nothing you can do, cannot stop it, must even take part, help it fail"

L: "I don't believe my boys will reach that wall"

I *wish* this interaction between JLC and Hancock "the Superb" had taken place

Alas, this is all apocryphal. The 20th stayed on Big Round Top.

Jeff Daniels, goddam. Such an outstanding performance. Lawrence would be proud

Dammit, C Thomas Howell, get your shit together, you've seen battle before in Red Dawn

The great cannonade begins!

Not pictured: army of the Potomac chief of artillery Henry hunt, who had foreseen this, resupplying all his batteries, and ordering them to slowly withdraw behind the crest in order to deceive the rebels I to thinking their fire was effective

Ken Burns getting his cameo in

Hancock doing his superb bit about corps commander's lives not counting

I wish he hadn't been so disappointing during Reconstruction

Sheridan, now THERE was a man who knew how to reconstruct

And Longstreet, for that matter

Btw, if we're talking the range of across, Jeff Daniels does "Dumb and Dumber" one year after this

Like

What

How

Now we get to the Virginia monologues that have every North Carolinian being like "stfu, we paid a higher price for this bullshit than you did"

My dad would always get annoyed on their behalf here, having grown up as a Buckeye in NC, getting in fistfights over the Civil War

Therefore, in honor of dad, I'll audibly mutter, "and north Carolina" during all this "Virginia" talk

Aaaaaaand right about NOW is when the US artillery comes back into action

Entire regiments broke and ran because of the fire of 12 and 20 pound parrot rifles from Cemetery Hill, while the 44 guns south of the angle raked the entire southern edge of the line

And platoon tiny step near Pickett, winning the war one tiny well-dressed step at a time

Philadelphia Brigade says its piece

Hancock calling up the Vermont Brigade to flank these bastards

And they did, oh boy, they did

I am once again asking you to flank these bastards

GIVE THEM DOUBLE CANISTER, ALONZO CUSHING, YOU BEAUTIFUL DYING BOY

Shit UP, Pickett, get down there with your troops if you give a shit, stop squawking about how that's the style

So many of "treason's flaunting rag" at the wall

And then Gibbon and Hays counterattack

And Brian Pohanka (RIP) as Webb, leading the charge in to retake the wall

Not pictured: General Hays kissing his aide, and riding the length of his line with his staff, trailing rebel battle flags in the dirt behind them

It is truly amazing how well Tom Berenger plays Longstreet with such a horribly fake beard

I'd love for him to reprise his role at James Longstreet in Reconstruction when he leads US troops and black militia against former rebel troops engaged in insurrection

Pardon me while I get emotional about the brothers Chamberlain having their fictitious reunion with its awkwardly long hugs

Love the cut to the national colors tho

Lawrence really did care for Tom so much tho guys. He was such a loving older brother, and most of his family dies off before him, which makes the Chamberlain saga such a tragedy

Whoo boy, that concludes yet another year of a live tweet of Gettysburg, against the strict advisement of my liver. More sober reflection to follow over the next few days

Thanks for following along with one of my favorite films