Today, our family followed through on the decision to move dad to a long-term facility in Mississauga. He's been on a dementia journey for about 8 years alongside a cancer one that has him also receiving palliative care. /2
The script flipped for me was a few years back when his conscientious nature had him scaling an aluminum ladder in a rainstorm to check that the eaves were clear ensuring we wouldn't have any flooding. Both his physical and mental capacity at the time put him at risk. /3
I was essentially reduced to admonishing my father and yelling for him to come down. I ventured that I would go up and ensure the eaves were cleared. Satisfied, I got him down and inside but I knew the days of him watching out for me were over and roles were now reversed. /4
This was a man who arrived in his late teens in Canada with the proverbial $5 in his pocket coming off a boat from post-war Germany. He was invited by his aunt who got stuck here attempting to live in the US and decided to carve out his life in the Toronto of the 1950s. /5
One the first things he did was change his name from "Hans Werner" to "John" because his aunt suggested the locals were not so much about the Germans at the time. /6
I would never suggest the name change is reflective of the challenges faced today in Canada by newcomers with non-Anglo names but it does give our family a sense of empathy for those who arrive here with obvious differences from the majority group. /7
Part of the story we heard growing up was the one of hard work and merit-based reward-reaping. Dad eventually found himself working for Mel Pollock who founded @pollockshh in @RoncesVillage in the pre-@HomeHardwareInc days. /8
Dad built up such a trust with "Uncle Mel" (as we kids came to know him) that he was tapped to succeed Mel's ownership of the store. I'm pretty sure Dad had also built a trustworthy relationship with @HomeHardwareInc founder Walter Hachborn by that point as well. /9
Over the years, Dad helped co-found @RoncesVillage as its inaugural and then long-time Chair, worked closely with Alex Ling (@BWVbia founder) who created the BIA concept, joined the Board of @TABIANews and eventually chaired TABIA until dementia forced his departure. /10
Dad was also a long-time Board member of @HomeHardwareInc and worked tirelessly to bring a "big city" perspective to the St. Jacobs-based org especially when @HomeDepotCanada arrived and threatened community-oriented retail experiences. /11
Watching a man who was so productive, caring, and effective in his roles slowly have his capacity diminished to #dementia was heart-wrenching and, like viewing cherry blossoms, made me deeply appreciate the moments of lucidity and connection even more. /12
My heart exploded any time he remembered he had a grandson or his grandson's name, was delighted to giggles by his grandson, or reaching out to connect with him. I'm also beyond grateful my son got to meeting his Opa and say "Ich liebe dich" to him. /13
I can't say enough about my mom who took on primary caregiving duties but also came to deeply appreciate all the unsung #caregivers in our communities who do this labour without pay or widespread acknowledgement. And we know this burden mostly falls on women. /14
I think he, and we, are rightly proud of his journey, accomplishments, and legacy over the years. Having said that, I've recently reflected on the flip side of this "hard work reaps rewards" story and that is it fails to account for many systemic barriers. /15
As I entered adulthood, I was firmly in the meritocracy camp of societal thinking and believed the success available to my dad was equally available to everyone else. It took YEARS of unlearning starting especially when @DesmondCole was a community animator @csiTO /16
@DesmondCole spent hours (for which I'm supremely grateful) both sharing his own stories but also reflecting back the holes in my family's treasured story of itself and why it couldn't be easily applied broadly across classes and groups. /17
Eventually, taking ownership for my own privilege journey, I sought out teachers such as @jeffperera, @OmarHaRedeye, @ShilbeeKim, @raniawrites, and my soulmate @denisepinto who ushered my understanding and empathy towards greater depths. /18
It's also without a doubt that my dad's community-oriented nature drove me to both work with small enterprises and seek out a community of my own, which I did about 14 years ago setting up my @WRDLLP law practice @csiTO. /19
I'm still processing this transition and the seeds my dad's life planted for my own journey but clearly there's both an interesting interplay and a build on or response to the choices he made for himself. Grateful for the lessons and legacies he has left us. /fin 
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