so, sow, sew
too, two, to,
their, there, they're
or, oar, ore
for, four, fore
pair, pear, pare
(some south-east England pronunciations: whore, hoar, haw; sore, soar, saw; paw, poor, pour; caw, core, cor; ah, are, 'r'; )
where, wear, ware
I, aye, eye,
'b', bee, Bea
'c', see, sea
hews, hues, Hugh's, Hughes,
freeze, frieze, frees
law, lore, lor!
Flows, floes, Flo's
cue, queue, 'q'
why, Wye, 'y'
pries, prize, prise
use, 'u's, youse
use, ewes, 'u's, youse
ton, tun, tonne
done, dun, Donne
owes, oh's, 'o's.
nose, knows, noes
heal, heel, he'll
Mikey, my key, my quay
cawed, cored, cord, chord (SE English)
(SE English) gored, gawd, Gord (Gordon)
rude, rood, rued
lose, loos, Lou's
dies, dyes, Di's
main, mane, Mayne,
maize, maze, May's,
(SE England) cause, caws, cores,
(SE England) shorn, Sean, Shaun
herd, heard, Hurd (name)
Max, macs, Mac's, Mack's,
stains, Staines, stanes (Scots)
Wales, whales, wails
[Some in London] fought, thought, fort (identical)
[London] pander, panda, panned'er
London: reef, wreath, Reith
Poetic one: air, heir and e’er
pole, poll, Pole
(Some pronunciations) morn, mourn, Morne
sees, seas, seize
Owe, oh, ‘o’
Pizza, Pete’s a, peat’s a,
reed, read, rede (archaic to mean 'advise')

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More from @MichaelRosenYes

29 Jun
1/ I had the German measles
I had them very bad.
They wrapped me in a blanket
and put me in a van.
2/ The road was very bumpy
I nearly tumbled out.
When I got to hospital
I heard a baby shout:
"Mamma, Pappa take me home
take me from this rusty home.
I've been here a year or two
Now I wanna be home with you..
Read 5 tweets
29 Jun
1/ There was an old woman of 92 - parlez-vous x 3
she done a fart and missed the loo
Inky pinky parlez-vous.
2/ The fart went rolling down the street, parley-vous x3
knocked a copper off his feet
inky pinky parlez vous.
3/ Bristol City were playing at home, parley vous x 3
They kicked the fart from here to Rome
inky pinky parlez vous
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My old man's a dustman
he wears a dustman's hat
he bought 2000 tickets
to see a football match
2/Fatty passed to Skinny
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Fatty took a rotten shot
and knocked the goalie flat.
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Every grandparent should seek out and sing the perfect nursery rhyme appropriate to their particular tiny grand-offspring so that they can participate in actions and noises. By trial and error, I found it yesterday: 'Knees up Mother Brown'. ('HEY!!!')
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lost his gatkes and his braces.
(Herrel = little chap; shmerel = fool; gatkes either means long johns or trousers.)
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Well, said the bogeyman,
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Stained glass window smashed in church.
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