Thread by @mykola

CPTSD happens when you feel _unsafe_ for a sustained period.

Your parents don't have to have been abusive monsters, you just needed something that scared you in your life and around which you felt the need to be careful.

Growing up like that can give you CPTSD, which is hell.

https://twitter.com/mykola/status/1412141326079045635

Were you bullied in school?

Were you not believed about something that scared or hurt you?

Did you feel the need to behave perfectly to earn your parents love?

Did you have a teacher that just insisted you were a bad kid when you weren't?

These can all lead to CPTSD, I think.

How do you know if you have CPTSD?

One easy way is that you're terrified of abandonment and rejection, because you learned that your entire value as a person was based on being accepted by someone who didn't accept you unconditionally.

Heal this by reparenting yourself.

Another sign of CPTSD is the worst sign of it: emotional flashbacks.

Someone says something that reminds you of the period of time during which you were unsafe. Now, even though you're in the present, your nervous system is active as if you were a kid in danger.

Again, the way to heal this is by reparenting yourself. That sounds hard, but it's not as hard as it sounds.

I strongly recommend IFS therapy for this (internal family systems), which will identify and heal the hurt part of you rather than papering over it like CBT may.

If you have, for any reason, internalized "If I do the wrong thing here I am in danger" then you may have a degree of (C)PTSD.

These things stay in your body long after you intellectually work through them.

I'd also strongly advise learning about the Polyvagal Theory, which is a great lens through which to view trauma and recovery. A lot of things that you may not realize are related are all in there - breath work, social coregulation, feelings of safety as requirement for health.

If IFS therapy is not accessible (there are only so many therapists, and most of us could benefit from it) then I recommend some books. Personally I loved Pete Walkers "CPTSD: From Surviving to Thriving" -- I had never felt so seen. Others recommend "The Body Keeps the Score".

Here's another book recommendation for people struggling with this:

https://twitter.com/fopdoodlious/status/1412428926039769093

I swear a lot of christianity is a CPTSD machine, because it teaches you that your value as a being is conditional on an all-powerful and irrational sky daddy approving of your behavior.

Religious trauma is real, maybe even worse for the literal-minded.

https://twitter.com/TheCrankyWizard/status/1412433076643323906

This part sucks. When you're abused you're left with a mountain of huge work to do as an adult, and _it's not fair_.

It's just not. That's how the whole thing works. None of this advice is fair - it's for when you're ready to heal regardless.

https://twitter.com/RiykaHz/status/1412438929249161217

(I had to drop the "It's not fair" for recovery to work. As long as I was stuck resenting the fact that I had to do the work I couldn't really do the work. Now I don't expect it to be fair, I understand that I have been dealt a specific hand and nobody can play it but me.)