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Dreamweasel Profile picture
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8 Jul, 4 tweets, 1 min read
You can’t just reclassify Facebook & Twitter as “government entities” because reasons
The “Big Tech” boogeyman is clearly intended to facilitate this confusion, but no.

Facebook & Twitter are simply the end result of the “free markets” conservatives have supported throughout our entire lives.
I also will note that Trump refrained from filing his lawsuits against Facebook & Twitter until AFTER his competing forum (by which I mean “blog”) crashed and burned.
⭐️ MAY ⭐️

TRUMP: I don’t need Facebook OR Twitter! I’m gonna start my own social media platform! It’s gonna be great! Really great! All my followers will come and join ME!

⭐️ JUNE ⭐️

(amplified cricket noises)

⭐️ JULY ⭐️

TRUMP: I’ll sue Big Tech for everything they’ve got!

• • •

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More from @Dreamweasel

Dreamweasel Profile picture
28 Jun
R: We authorize the Anti-CRT Task Force to remove all tigers from American neighborhoods

D: That seems alarmist

R: You’re pro-tiger?

D: No, but there are no tigers in our neighborhoods

R: Then why is our task force a problem? HUH?

D: sigh

R: (points at cat) Look! A tiger
D: That’s not a tiger; that’s a kittycat

R: Yes, but it has genetic similarities to tigers in its DNA

D: That doesn’t make it a tiger

R: You can’t be too careful! How can we subject our children to such a dangerous menace?

CAT: mrowr?

R: Quiet, you Marxist
R: So there are clearly tigers present in millions of homes, provided that a “tiger” is whatever I say it is

D: That sounds dishonest

R: Anything to avoid traumatizing our children

D: Why not just say that you’re coming for our cats

R: Surprisingly, people find that divisive
Read 4 tweets
Dreamweasel Profile picture
26 Jun
Isn’t the entirety of modern conservatism based on inventing largely imaginary culture-war grievances so you can disingenuously claim you’re “punching back” at liberals
I mean, the GOP regularly claims to be “fighting back” against...

- critical race theory
- transgenders in public restrooms
- rioting, looting, etc

And of course, the rigged & corrupt election that inexplicably ousted the most unpopular President in American history from power.
I could go on...

- “cancel culture”
- a noun, a verb, Hunter Biden
- the Orwellian dystopia of mask requirements and vaccine passports to compensate for Dr. Fauci’s massive coverup of the sinister Chinese origin of the Coronavirus, which incidentally was no worse than the flu
Read 5 tweets
Dreamweasel Profile picture
25 Jun
FOX & FRIENDS

KILMEADE: Our report on the border will resume in a moment, but we have a late-breaking report: college student Jeremy Fudgeknuckles posted on Facebook that he believes “all police officers are poopyheads”

DOOCY: My God

KILMEADE: The Left is simply out of control
HANNITY: All decent Americans are aghast & horrified at what Leftists like Jeremy Fudgeknuckles are saying about our brave men in uniform

CARLSON: Is Jeremy Fudgeknuckles the new voice of the Democrat Party?

DEMS: It was one guy

CARLSON: We can only conclude that yes, he is
INGRAHAM: The Democrats have sunk to a new low

MAHER: This only proves that the woke left is out of control

LEVIN: THE DEMOCRATS WANT TO DESTROY THE POLICE!

DEMS: Nobody knows who this guy is

DOBBS: Not for long
Read 6 tweets
Dreamweasel Profile picture
24 Jun
I can confirm from my friends who work in public schools that the last thing they need is more Fox News-addled parents riding their asses about Brainwashing Their Kids With Leftist Claptrap because of some fucking context-deprived MAGA bullshit they heard about on the teevee
The whole point of Fox News outrage porn is to scare people with buzzwords like “Critical Race Theory” so they can intimidate teachers from saying anything that implies institutional racism is a thing that still affects our lives & didn’t end a long, long time ago
The smarter conservatives are finally acknowledging that CRT isn’t actually taught in public schools, so now they’re moving the goalposts to encompass history viewed “through the filter of CRT” so they can continue their horror stories of ideological brainwashing uninterrupted
Read 4 tweets
Dreamweasel Profile picture
21 Jun
A good rule of thumb:

If you or I were genuinely concerned that we were being misunderstood by thousands of people, our first instinct would be to concisely explain our “true” meaning.

If you continue to coyly insist “You misunderstand me” without doing that, it’s gaslighting.
The point of DM’s first Tweet is clearly “The good dog died, while the bad dog lived. Just like Biden’s sons, LOL.”

After thousands of responders rightfully suggested DM was a terrible person, he doubled down on “Those philistines and simpletons failed to read my full column!”
I did read the column. It basically said the same thing, appending “It’s just like a Shakespearean tragedy!” It’s still a flowery “Hunter Biden LOL” joke. There is no other point to the allegory; all it does is rub salt in the family’s recent wounds for a hacky punchline.
Read 4 tweets
Dreamweasel Profile picture
17 Jun
Thanks to Trump, “Who are you gonna believe: me or your lying eyes?” became the actual mission statement of the GOP
Thanks to Trump, the GOP has collectively rejected not just democracy, but the republic, the electoral college, and the U.S. Congress... all because Trump refused to accept that he lost.
Thanks to Trump, the GOP is now infested with a new crop of “rising stars” whose only goals are garnering publicity and triggering the libs
Read 6 tweets

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