Thread by @imaracingmom

Dear people pointing the "Big Tobacco Shill" finger at people like me...
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Smoking killed my grandpa. The man who loved me to the ends of the earth. The man who never raised a hand to hit me. The man who taught me there are good men in the world. The man who accepted me for who I was.

Smoking killed my grandmother. The woman who made sure that us kids had some decent clothes while mom was struggling to support us on our own. The woman who packed us kids in her camper and took us on great adventures. The woman who taught us modesty and humility.

In 2011 I sat with my mother as she took her last breath. Smoking killed her, too. I was 53 and became the family elder of Mom's side of the tree the day she died.

In 2014 my 29 yr old son had a heart attack. He had been smoking since he was 18. 2 packs a day. The doctor said quit smoking or die. Vaping helped him quit smoking. Unemployed, he sold everything he could and opened a vape shop. It became our mission to help people stop smoking.

In 2015 I developed over 200 flavored e-liquid products for my son's shop for FREE. His adult customers helped develop the flavors, suggesting what appealed to them. We dreamed of the day that so many people vaped, Big Tobacco would go out of biz.

I took over the shop in 2018. By then, vapor technology isn't just Mom and Pop companies, Big Tobacco has introduced their own products. Regulations are getting very burdensome and out of reach for the Mom & Pops.

Since fall of 2014, I have been at the shop 7 days / week. Took 1 and 1/2 days off due to illness. Took 2 weekend vacations to see @ABillionLives and @KnowNicotine. The shop is even open a few hours on Holidays, because we don't want people to go back to smoking.

I have never taken a paycheck from the shop, under my Son's ownership or my own. Prices are super low because the shop caters to low income people. Breaking even is the goal. At times, I've used personal funds to keep the place afloat.

I work 3am-9am five to seven days a week at a group home. That is my income. Then I go to the shop and open it at 10. My son comes in around 3 so I can go home to eat, sleep, and repeat. He gets a small income from the shop to support himself and his daughter.

In 2020 my son had his 2nd heart attack (35 years old). As they're shocking his heart I stood outside the door begging him not to die. He has heart disease from when he used to smoke. He has 3 stents in his heart, will be on meds for the rest of his life and is risk to die young.

When my phone rings, I jump from the fear, afraid my son has had another heart attack and smoking killed him, too.

My husband smoked for years. He has COPD. Everyday I watch him struggle to breathe. I sometimes get up at night to make sure he's still breathing. The fear of him dying from this just ads another layer to my loathing of what smoking does to people.

I smoked my first cigarette in 1969. I was 10. In 2015, after dual using for around 4 months, I quit smoking. Vaping is the only thing that not only helped me quit, it prevents me from relapsing. I was a heavy smoker, 2-3 packs a day. I still miss smoking, and crave smoking.

My health sucks. My teeth are falling out. I am healthier than when I smoked. I no longer get bronchitis 3-4 times a year. But smoking has taken it's toll. In 2020 I tried to go to zero nicotine. That was a mistake. I'll never do that again.

My friend, Jason, had a rare medical condition that affected his digestive system. He was in horrid pain and lost tons of weight. The DRs told him to stop smoking. He did, the symptoms got worse. I gave him a vape set up and the symptoms were a bit better. He gained some weight.

Jason's doctor demanded Jason stop vaping. Told him nicotine was the worse thing Jason could put in his system. I tried to give Jason info to the contrary, but he listened to his doc. His health faded quickly. He got horribly depressed. He committed suicide Nov. 2020.

Smoking and alcohol killed my cousin, Jeff. He was only 2 months older than me. Smoking has killed my uncle Butch and aunt Lila. I've already had friends die from smoking related diseases and cancers.

I have dedicated the last 7 years to helping people stop smoking, to campaign for reasonable regulations of these products, to prevent others from knowing this magnitude of heartache, and to share the truth. SMOKING KILLS.

If after reading this you still believe that I'm a shill for big tobacco you must be cold hearted. I've tried for so many years to have compassion for you. I'm tired. It's getting hard to be kind to you. It is time for you to open your heart and show me some damn compassion.

There are 1,000's of us. Consumers and consumers who turned into business owners. We are the heart of this industry, not big tobacco. We created the products, we started saving lives, we've given birth to the greatest public health break-thru in years. We deserve some respect.

To be clear: This thread is directed specifically at those who accuse supporters of Tobacco Harm Reduction of being Big T Shills. No offense to those who are working on the THR side of the tobacco industry. You, too, are trying to save lives. I support that effort.

PS. I've been struggling emotionally all week, which is probably why being called a Big T Shill was extra painful. I just figured out why. This week last year was my son's heart attack, which happened 6 years and 2 days after the 1st one. Just found this post on facebook.

Here's Mark (my hubs), Tom (my son) and I in the late 80's. We would have been at a sober motorcycle run. I was told my the DRs that I can't have kids, so Tom has been a miracle since day 1. I remember him running around pulling plug wires and the bikers thinking it was funny.

Smoking was so "normal" then, no one thought twice of the little guy being right there while we smoked. :-(

Here we are on another sober run. There I am with a smoke and a Dew. That heart patch was made by my Mom and said "Hugs not Drugs". She was so glad I had stopped experimenting with drugs. I didn't know until years later she knew I ever did any drugs. Almost everyone there smoked.

You've just witnessed my most public admission ever of drug use. Might as well let all the ghosts out of the closet. I belonged to more than one group of folks who are high risk for smoking. Maybe someday people will address WHY we smoke, instead of just trying to make us quit.

In the last 20 or so years, Mark and I have lost at least 14 friends who have died from smoking related causes. 14 families who's lives will never be the same. Parents, grandparents, business owners, friends just gone. #CancerSucks and that's how most of them went.

Another facebook post from this date. Sandy's Mom smoked and so did Sandy. She's now fighting cancer, just like her Mom. I pray she makes it. She's raising one of her grandkids. #SmokingSucks It is so painful to be accused of being a part of this wave of deaths.

Right now, my son's Godparents and my best friends, Rick and Netty, are being good spouses and take care of each other as both battle cancer and deal with both doing chemo. It feels like the death cloud of smoking hangs constantly over my head. We never get a break from it.

The hurt and anger I'm feeling towards the person who had the nerve to call me a Big T shill is getting to me.

I remember a saying from childhood: Point 1 finger at me and look how many point back towards you.

When you fight what I do, you are protecting cigarette sales.