Thread by @drlouisehansen

What is Intimacy and Play?

So, for simplicity, try conceptualise mental illness as living within our threat system (i.e. fight, flight, freeze, or collapse). Think of depression as freeze or collapse; anger, anxiety, terror as fight or flight. 1/12 #HealingTrauma

Remember threat system is only intended for a real life and death threat. So the two fundamental questions to ask are:

1. Is this moment safe or dangerous?
2. Is this moment real or my imagination? 2/12

We need to get good at telling the difference between danger vs safety. Between imagination vs reality. That’s pretty much it. 3/12

If the moment is dangerous, we will fight, flight (run), freeze or collapse to stay alive. If we think it is dangerous and it turns out to just be our imagination (i.e. anxiety; fear of something bad happening), remind yourself: “It is not real. There is nothing to do.” 4/12

When the moment is safe the soothing system is for: peace, joy, love, compassion, blissfulness, ecstasy. Via:

1. Intimacy.
2. Play.

Intimacy is “stillness” like freeze/collapse. Play is “movement” like fight/flight. The difference: safe vs danger in stillness vs movement.

How cool is that!? We can drop the labels (i.e. I’m Depressed). Rather, check danger vs safety - threat system vs soothing system - where we are determines what we need. If depression is freeze, stillness, low arousal, then try intimacy: like music, a hug. 6/12

If anger, anxiety, terror is fight/flight, movement, high arousal, try play: running it off, kick boxing. Notice what won’t work due to intensity of arousal: i.e. freeze (low) cannot immediately play (high), fight/flight (high) cannot immediately do intimacy (low). So cool. 7/12

Crack the code: Where am I? Threat system? Soothing system? Is there danger? Is this moment safe? Is this real? Or my imagination? Where exactly am I: fight, flight, freeze? For collapse you won’t be awake. Can I switch fight/flight to play? Freeze to intimacy? You can try. 8/12

Intimacy: connecting deeply with life or someone, including yourself, in this moment, in stillness, such as: “Be thankful (i.e. gratitude) to feel (i.e. empathy) right here right now (i.e. mindfulness), or a book, nature, friend, lover, pet, music, movie, rest. 9/12

Play: deeply connecting with life or someone, including yourself, in this moment, in movement, such as cooking, cleaning, working, helping, volunteering, creating, campaigning, entertaining, yoga, martial arts, dance, games, sports, science, technology, arts, anything. 10/12

Now you know the importance of intimacy and play. Let’s turn this framework into a mindset for personal, social and political change. If you are unable to, you might need help first, to get safe or become ‘unstuck’ from trauma. Reach out for trauma informed care. 11/12 #YouBelong

Dr Louise Hansen
Psychologist
PhD in Psychology
Human Rights Activist

#HealingTrauma #Justice4Australia #WeAllBelong

💜🕊

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