Thread by @ResilienttHuman

4 Proven Mental Workouts to Build EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

(Build these psychological research-backed habits today and reap the benefits)

= THREAD =

Can you build emotional intelligence from the internet?

Yes and No.

Yes, because there is a ton of good info out there.

No, because cramming that info won't benefit at all.

Why?

Because emotional intelligence is like a muscle.

Just knowing how it works will do little for you.

You need to develop a regular workout routine to develop it.

So here are 4 proven mental workouts to build emotional intelligence:

TL;DR

1. Ditch thoughts that don't serve You
2. Accept difficult emotions
3. Show unconditional compassion for your mistakes
4. Choose values over feelings

Let's dig in...

1. Ditch the Thoughts that Don't Serve You

Critical thinking is a tool.

And like any other tool, it can be used well or poorly.

Thinking before taking a major action makes sense.

But often, more thinking is exactly what makes you miserable.

What to do instead?

Stop once you've reflected on a mistake and extracted the lesson.

Emotionally intelligent people know when to indulge in thinking and when to let go.

It's not easy though.

You can only acquire this habit through practice, patience, and self-compassion.

"To think too much is a disease.”

- Fyodor Dostoyevsky

2. Accept Difficult Emotions

It's natural to run away from pain.

Physical pain signifies danger.

But emotional pain, even though it's still painful, doesn't mean it's dangerous.

Your grief, anger, or sorrow makes you feel like shit.

But they won't harm you.

If you try to run away from them or try to numb them down, you make them stronger.

You also teach your brain that they are dangerous.

It worsens things even more.

Emotionally intelligent people feel painful emotions too.

But they accept them, instead of running away.

“Emotional pain cannot kill you, but running from it can.”

- Vironika Tugaleva

3. Show Unconditional Compassion For Your Mistakes

Since childhood, you have been taught to beat yourself up for any mistake.

And naturally, you absorb that.

You flagellate yourself because you think that will help you get better.

But mistakes are a part of life.

That's how you grow.

Being harsh on yourself for your mistakes serves no purpose.

It only makes things harder.

What to do instead?

Try being compassionate with yourself.

When you slip up, accept the mistake for what it is.

Acknowledge that you are helpless to change the past.

Instead, take the lessons and focus on what you can do to be better the next time.

“Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.”

- Louise Hay

4. Choose Values over Feelings

Popular culture tells you to "follow your heart".

Something about your emotions being your most "authentic" part.

Really?

Is that craving to stuff your mouth with a big mac more authentic than your desire to be healthy and fit?

I call bullshit.

What to do instead?

Be skeptical of your feelings when they conflict with your values.

Emotionally intelligent people train themselves to notice that conflict.

Then they ask themselves - what do I really want?

Let the same question guide you.

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

- Viktor Frankl

Emotional Intelligence doesn't come easy.

That's exactly why it's worth pursuing.

Stick to these workouts.

Stay patient and compassionate when you slip up.

And soon you will start reaping the benefits.

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https://twitter.com/ResilienttHuman/status/1421097080676782087