Dylin's humping, chain gangs litter-picking, inept elbow bumping, and The Saga of The Umbrella That Just Would Not Open.

This full-length Mr Bean episode is Johnson's frantic reaction to polls finally beginning to catch up to his incompetence and venality.
As much as I don't get it, this is Johnson's comfort xone. Dismiss him at your peril. The shtick works.

There's a small window in which to capitalise. NOT by pointing out he's a fool. To his fans that is an ATTRIBUTE. But by pressing the substance to non-fans who are listening.
It's precisely the moment the tide began to turn against Trump. He left 'safe' Republican areas vulnerable by performing to his fans. Those who liked him, loved it. Those who were already dubious, cringed. That was the time for flipping them. Johnson is going down the same route.
It's KEY to accept his appeal or we risk targetting the wrong thing. I watch the umbrella clip and instinctively think "it'll lose him votes". I'm wrong. It will consolidate votes he already has. But while he's being Jacques Tati, he leaves undecideds looking FOR OTHER OPTIONS.
THAT'S the opportunity. Nobody needs to be told he's a joke. Everyone knows it. It's just that some find the joke funny enough to vote for. To critique his act is to boost his audience. Plenty of people's attention is waning. They're ready to switch over. Talk to THEM.
Have you seen how channels advertise on other channels? No ads cuts into your programme to tell you that what you're watching right now is shite.

They cut in to tell you that something better is on another channel. Rant over.

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More from @sturdyAlex

27 Jul
Extraordinary, @Tesco. Don't know why shopping wasn't delivered. Can't find out. I'll have to order it again for next week, provided I can pay AGAIN, since their refund takes 5 days. But here's a tenner for wasting my day, leaving me without provisions and treating me like trash.
It is precisely at this point, when companies feel they are big enough to treat their customers with contempt, that they usually fail? What say you, @tesconews? Is this a good look for you?
And always someone pops up with: "But the poor customer service person is badly paid and has no power to help."

YES. BY DESIGN.

It's corporate policy to erase all but ONE point of contact then silo that away from operational bits that can help. It is the ESSENCE of bad service.
Read 5 tweets
22 Jul
I’m not the top UK negotiator, but even I know that you stop sending draft agreements after you’ve finalised and signed one.

This just looks comical.
If we admitted our cock up, we might get a sympathetic hearing. But to negotiate an agreement - A TREATY - sign it, sell it to the nation as ‘ingenious’, ratify it, then six months later claim it’s everybody else’s fault we don’t like it, is just plain weird.
And who would want to renegotiate with THE SAME KNOB??? What about this process went well last time, that they would want to repeat it? What guarantee is there this failed panto dame won’t turn around in January 2022 and say, nah, this deal is not doing it. Let’s try again. Pfft.
Read 4 tweets
22 Jul
I know business is being 'smart' in hanging labour shortages causing food supply issues only on Covid. I KNOW it's an easier way to get help from this venal gov't. But I wish they found the nerve to acknowledge the Brexit elephant in the room and our journos had the balls to ask.
Perhaps start by asking why no other EU country is experiencing such issues, despite battling the same pandemic.
Then, perhaps question, if this is happening before the UK has implemented full import rules and during the UK's low-demand and high-supply season, what happens around Christmas?
Read 4 tweets
20 Jul
The absence of clear rules is a very real electoral risk to Johnson. Because it rewards, not those who made sacrifices to ameliorate the mess he created, but the least sensible, who have broken the rules all along. It hands the keys to public spaces to the least risk averse. 1/4
It endorses a cavalier attitude that has been lethal to thousands. It forces the vast majority to abstain from taking advantage of these new freedoms, because we know that a minority are determined to abuse them. The Prime Minister is the architect of this imbalance. 2/4
I saw someone who went partying in the early hours of Monday morning tell a journalist: "It was my decision, my risk to take, and I loved it." The problem is that, actually, it's not 'your risk'. It is a risk you forcibly impose on fellow passengers, colleagues, or customers. 3/4
Read 4 tweets
13 Jul
Johnson: "Every pound we spend in Aid has to be borrowed."

And the billions spent on failed apps, 6k-a-day consultants, unusable PPE, contracts to mates, jobs for mistresses, Brexit, Routemaster, garden bridge, Royal Yacht, a tunnel to Ireland, HS2, Trident?

Where did get them?
SOLELY as London Mayor, he spaffed a billion up the wall on NONSENSE. Almost a quarter of his total budget while in post.

Now, he's suddenly all about fiscal responsibility, cutting a tiny budget that saves babies from malaria. Utter Shyster.

theguardian.com/politics/2019/…
It's an OUTRAGE, apparently, to spend borrowed money on getting girls to school in the poorest parts of the world.

But nobody is allowed TO EVEN KNOW how much money we had to bung to Nissan and Vauxhall to keep them from leaving after Brexit.
Read 4 tweets
13 Jul
In Upside-Down-World racist tweets are 'freedom of speech' or 'saying it as it is'; getting in trouble for them 'cancel culture'. But call out political hypocrisy on racism, and a white man pops up to tell a black man the world can only work if he accepts 'submission'.
SUBMISSION, ffs. That is the word he chose.
These are, incidentally, all the same people who would rend their garments and rave at any suggestion any part of the Leave vote was driven by underlying racism.
Read 4 tweets

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