Thread by @jentalleydesign

Y'all want a timeline cleanser? Here ya go.

My oldest was adopted in 2005 at not-quite 3yo. First granddaughter. My mom, very crafty & talented woman, started a baby quilt, a traditional Sunbonnet Sue. She finished the top, but what with one thing & another never finished it.

Mom also had a top she started for her 1st grandson in 2003.

Both those kids graduated from high school this year.

For graduation she decided to finish those baby quilts. For my nephew, she added fabrics reflecting his love of the outdoors & the U.P.

For my kid -- well. Pink & green Sunbonnet Sue didn't really suit a kid who is actually a non-binary minimalist. They haven't worn a dress or anything pink since maybe 4th grade. Mom couldn't imagine giving this quilt to this particular kid. So she went to @Spoonflower for ideas.

Mom finished the quilts & gave them to the kids yesterday at a joint family grad party. I don't post a lot of pics of M publicly but with permission, I just want you all to see their reaction. Mom explained about the unfinished baby quilts & how this design was just NOT M.

The point we all kind of lost any grip on our emotions was when Mom said "so I made this for the baby you were then & the person you are now."

The border is printed with they/them pronouns & the back is yellow, white & purple for the non-binary flag.

M is NOT a demonstrative person. It's fine, it's who they are. So when THEY started tearing up, & my mom did too, we all just kinda lost it.

Anyway here's my mom & her oldest grandkids & their baby/ graduation quilts. (I misremembered, it's not a Sue but pinwheels & sunhats.)

(It was a long day, it was a long time since I've seen the top -- I remembered the sunhats & thought "sunbonnet sue" but now I'm remembering Mom picked that design bc she loved to read M the book "Love You Like Crazy Cakes" & there was a baby in a floppy hat on the cover.)

My parents both are from an uber-religious Southern U.S. Christian fundamentalist background. And no one in the family has ever hesitated in accepting M for exactly who they are. Grandparents don't always remember pronouns or name changes, but they try their best to understand.

When we got home I texted M some of the pics & teased them a bit about getting emotional.

"Gah, no!" they said. And then "I just felt so VALIDATED."

Y'all. I canNOT. What a journey this has been (so far!). I don't know how I was so fortunate as to be this kid's mom.

I'm so mad I got details wrong in the very 1st tweet & didn't realize until I was 5 tweets in.

ANYWAY. #enby #trans validation matters. We might forget a new name or pronouns once in a while but when folks know & see that their whole selves matter, that's the important part.

Side note: thankfully they left that church before I was a teenager. Church was TERRIFYING to me as a kid. Speaking in tongues, waving arms & shouting, a bunch of old white men much too interested in what little girls were up to.

The music was LIT though. The one thing I miss.