Thread by @sometimesalight

PSA: In my experience, the kind of people who show up at your church & gush all over you & tell you how faithful you are & how their previous church didn't love God/the Bible/truth/etc.... are not the kind of people you should listen to.

For starters, there are always 2 sides to every story & it's far too easy to make ourselves the righteous hero. I know. I've done it myself. But beyond this, new folks have NO idea if you're a faithful pastor or not. That can only be tested over time.

So take this for what it's worth: There's a ton of movement btwn churches right now. When new folks show up at your church, remember that they likely left another church. That's going to be much more complicated than their last church was "bad" & yours is "good."

I hear it from friends & pastors everyday. Members are peeling off left & right. Leaders have no idea who's in their church, who left during lockdown, or who is about to leave. Some folks are dropping out of church altogether while others are looking for a new church.

Obviously, these are very anxious times for everyone but for a particular type of church goer, they're going to be tempted to funnel their larger anxiety toward their church. After all, when you can't change anything else about your life, you can always change churches...

Meanwhile, the division in broader society is finding sanctuary in the church. Rather than living together across political & social differences, online leaders are incubating & enabling divisiveness, telling folks that they are justified in leaving--that it's their duty even.

The result is a whole lot of folks are looking for someone/something to pin their anxiety on. Small disagreements w/ pastor or perceived "direction" of the church give them an opportunity to unload a ton of anxiety while online teachers confirm their decision as righteous.

Don't get me wrong. It is good & just to leave toxic communities & to hold ungodly systems & leaders to account. I have done it myself. But I also know this:

When you leave for those reasons, you agonize over it. You grieve it. You don't show up at the next church gushing over the new pastor & ministry. You're too heartbroken to say much of anything at all.

All that to say, some of you are losing folks & some of you are seeing those same folks show up in your church the next Sunday. It's important that we understand the larger dynamics & don't succumb to temptation to believe the simple narrative.

If people leave your church, you are not a failure. But by the same token, if people come to your church, you may not be a success they tell you that you are.
Sometimes--most of the time--it's not about us at all.