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Slava Malamud Profile picture
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5 Aug, 4 tweets, 1 min read
Another baseball question. When the infield looks like this, why the hell wouldn't you bunt to third base? Looks like a guaranteed single to me. Image
I'm sure there is a rationale here, otherwise nobody would do it, I am just curious what it is.
Wow, extremely analytical answers. Glad I've asked this. Definitely not something one would pick up instinctually.
The short answer, basically, is lots of guys who can hit, a lot fewer who can play baseball.

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More from @SlavaMalamud

Slava Malamud Profile picture
17 Jul
So last night, my 12-year-old and I had a very deep and difficult conversation about the Marvel Cinematic Universe's most disturbing and hideous character, Iron Man. My son found Tony Stark unpalatable for multiple valid reasons, but I was unsettled on a deeper level.
Thing is...
Tony Stark is the most Russian character in the entire bloody saga. I am not hyperbolizing or being coy. Anton Starkov is extremely, horrifyingly Russian for all the wrong, most problematic, most repulsive reasons.
Consider the following...
It's not just that Stark is ostentatious and vulgar in his displays of wealth and bangs his secretary (and also everyone else), both of which are mandatory by statute for all Russian oligarchs. Tony lives by two core principles, that consume his entire being:
Read 8 tweets
Slava Malamud Profile picture
17 Jul
The entire idea of Avengers: Endgame is "Hulk may have six PhD's, but Tony Stark is a billionaire, and billionaires are magic, so stuff your degrees up your green asshole, egghead."
The whole thing is just a fucking hymn to capitalism! It's not even a coincidence that the disgustingly unhandsome Thor looks like Friedrich Engels now.
Wait, Pepper Potts is a superhero, too? What's her superhero name? The Golddigger?
Read 5 tweets
Slava Malamud Profile picture
14 Jul
At some point the world's sports community will understand that it is absolutely impossible to make Putin's Russia stop cheating in sports. It will not stop cheating. It can't stop cheating. Cheating has become an integral part of Russian international sports.
It's really a pretty simple dynamic: there is no downside to cheating for Putin. Any gold Russia wins is a political win for him. Any time a Russian athlete gets caught, he spins it as the evil West being afraid of glorious Russian athlete. The public buys it wholesale.
Even liberals don't blame Putin for doping scandals. The narrative is always the same:
1) our athletes are blameless, it's all an anti-Russian plot
2) even if they dope, so what, everybody does
3) even if we do it more than anyone, it's still OK, for the glory of the Motherland
Read 6 tweets
Slava Malamud Profile picture
10 Jul
In the entire history of the NHL, there has never been a non-expansion team that was a bigger embarrassment than the Buffalo Sabres that would go on to survive long-term.
At this point, to close up shop would be the best-case scenario.
This level of incompetence is unsustainable.
Usually when people say "I could coach/manage better", it's a hyperbole. Not here. Forget even me, I am a professional sports writer who is famously never wrong. Imagine yourself, a lay plebeian. In what imaginable way could you mismanage Buffalo worse than these "pros" have?
Think about it. What could you possibly do to make it worse?
How can Briere/Drury be screwed up more? Inspirational captains who led the team to a Presidents Cup season - allowed to walk for nothing after the team completely alienated them with disrespectful, low-ball proposals
Read 8 tweets
Slava Malamud Profile picture
10 Jul
Great commentary, BTW. The modern GOP is a far-right, extremist, even cultist party by any international standards, but America's political discourse continues to pretend it's mainstream.
Of course, GOP's slide into sectarianism began a long time ago, with Limbaugh and Gingrich.
It really is amazing. America has a centrist party, with substantial center-right and center-left factions, the Democrats. In any country in the world, Harris and Buttigieg are centrists, Biden and Manchin are Merkel-style conservatives and Sanders and AOC are center-left.
America's other major party, anywhere in the world, is a far-right, extremist, nativist fringe party, with its most moderate members (think Murkowski and Collins) still comfortably on the right wing of most conservative parties.
Read 5 tweets
Slava Malamud Profile picture
10 Jul
I think it's time Slava educates American filmmakers on our names. There are just a few simple rules.
1) None of our names ever end with an "off." Ever. This only happens with German names (Altenhoff, Hotloff), and only for those people whose first name is Standartenfuhrer.
1A) "But what about Smirnoff Vodka, Slava?" What about it? You can name your vodkas anything you want. You can name it Smirnoff, Smirnogg, Smirnokk or Katzelenbogen. Just don't name people that. OK, on we go.
2) There are male and female last names in Russia. Female names are made by adding an "a" to the end of the male name. And male names are made by adding "ov" to any random stupid word that pops into your screenwriter's head.
Read 11 tweets

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