1\ Because the people who are wet for vaccines are the same people who had a limbic response to dumb Eric Ding propaganda last year, they cannot understand that vaccine skeptics won't respond to similar propaganda for vaccines
2\ Now, some of my smartest friends are avoiding the jab for reasons that are seventeen layers of abstraction buried in the medical data. They are not going to change their mind based on a Facebook ad in 72 point Arial
3\ Equally: I know some real dumbasses who are avoiding the jab because they think it's a Soros plot, or because they read some voodoo on a homeopathy blog

These people ALSO are not going to change their minds based on a Facebook ad in 72 point Arial
4\ The whole thing is like an Always Sunny In Philadelphia fanboy insisting that you be strapped into a couch to appreciate the genius of Always Sunny

It's not going to happen. Midwit vocal fry is only attractive to other midwits

The smarter AND dumber just don't hear it

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More from @ElonBachman

8 Aug
Guy who makes it 90% through first date without revealing he's rabidly and monomaniacally opposed to COVID theater
"Babe why didn't you get the vaccine?"

*grinds molars to fine powder*
"Babe isn't it awesome that we're allowed to have dinner parties again starting next month?"

*pushes butter all the way through bread roll*
Read 4 tweets
4 Aug
BREAKING: TWITTER TO LOWER CHARACTER LIMIT FROM 280 TO ZERO

USERS WILL BE ALLOWED TO CHOOSE FROM FOUR PRE-SELECTED MEMES:

1. "I DID A THING"

2. "MY 4YO AGREES WITH MY MARXIST POLITICS"

3. "____ IS A HUMAN RIGHT"

4. PICTURE OF AMAZON FOREST BURNING
PREMIUM ACCOUNTS WILL BE ALLOWED TO RETWEET ANY OF THE FOUR PREVIOUS MEMES AND ADD "BITCOIN FIXES THIS"
VERIFIED ACCOUNTS WILL BE ALLOWED TO RETWEET SLATE ARTICLES AND ADD "FOLLOW THE SCIENCE, PEOPLE"
Read 5 tweets
2 Aug
Has it occurred to the jab-ronis that many of us have a deeper reason than "distrust" to avoid the vaccine?

My reason:

I have a life, and I don't care about COVID. Spending even five minutes waiting in line for a jab would be an extravagant waste of my time on earth
Getting the COVID vaccine is, for me, as appealing as signing up for a rewards card at a grocery store in a city I don't live in

And the louder people yell about how much sense it makes, the more resolved I become that they are dangerous rascals
"But Bachman, if you will only follow me through fifteen minutes of data analysis, I'll show you that the jab would add seven quality adjusted minutes to your life expectancy!"

Right, piss off. I could reorder your life in a thousand salutary ways. But it's your life, not mine.
Read 4 tweets
2 Aug
Aboriginal Sin?
The conservation of structure in Woke liturgy is frankly beautiful

You can build glass and concrete barriers against the Pleistocene, but the humans inside will still invent gods to propitiate, sins to expiate

Like cultures on separate continents independently inventing the bow
It's why I laugh at "Great Man" accounts of Jesus or Mohammed

The Iron Age was always going to give us messianism

The simultaneous deification of George Floyd & similar scoundrels abroad tells you these movements are epiphenomenal, statistical mechanical, economic, inevitable
Read 5 tweets
30 Jul
At a buddy's restaurant in Zambia, this is how the staff would steal sausage. Larger items, like chickens, would be snuck out in the mop bucket, or shoved through the wall where an old AC cover hid an empty space Image
Native Americans lived in deep harmony with nature. When a Native American killed an animal, it was like killing an old friend, and he consecrated the act with piety and reveren--

Oops. Image
I'd assumed the insult "smooth brained" had been invented in the last few decades

But apparently the Bantu were using it as early as the 1950s?

Separately, imagine the familiarity you'd need with corpses to notice a 10% difference in brain volume Image
Read 5 tweets
29 Jul
"Freedom" was only ever an armistice between elites, a sort of incidental DMZ that we later mistook for a park

The average person is terrified of freedom, resents others when they have it, and loves to see it hoed under
The Magna Carta is a good example, and there are many others like it. A couple of nobles get strong enough to bring a king to heel, and they carve out some principles that look like freedom

But the masses themselves are incurably bovine:
A conceit of modernity is that b/c capitalism put the peasants into luxury and allowed them to buy degrees, that they sincerely hold liberal values

But today's college grad is still a peasant at heart. He still wants to throw salt over his shoulder, propitiate Gaia, burn witches
Read 5 tweets

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