If your approach relies on insulting anyone who doesn’t follow your approach

(“If you don’t agree with me you’re X, Y, and Z”)

you’re using manipulation instead of persuasion. That tells me you’re hunting for short-term gains at the expense of my long-term best interests.
It’s usually couched as moralizing: “If you don’t agree with us you’re evil and you enjoy harming people.”

This sets up the speaker as a super special moral authority. The 3 groups I see use this tactic most are social justice groups, vegan groups, and no-spank parenting groups.
Note that this is MOSTLY a feature of groups. Individual vegans who decide on their own don’t typically treat people this way. But vegan gurus with followings (thus forming a group) who need to build a paying fanbase do. It polarizes their audience and makes them seem important.
This is also a feature of insecure people who make their choice not based on sound reasoning like multiple scientific studies but instead act to make themselves feel like a good person.

If you challenging their view makes you a bad person, that’s a cult of belief. Not science.
So the next time you see someone say “If you don’t act exactly like I do you’re a bad person,” ask yourself:

-How does this belief make the speaker feel good about themselves?
-Where’s the insecurity?
-Where’s the money connection?
-How else do they benefit if I agree?

• • •

Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to force a refresh
 

Keep Current with Adam Lane Smith

Adam Lane Smith Profile picture

Stay in touch and get notified when new unrolls are available from this author!

Read all threads

This Thread may be Removed Anytime!

PDF

Twitter may remove this content at anytime! Save it as PDF for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video
  1. Follow @ThreadReaderApp to mention us!

  2. From a Twitter thread mention us with a keyword "unroll"
@threadreaderapp unroll

Practice here first or read more on our help page!

More from @TheBrometheus

31 Jul
In my years as a family therapist, 1 approach worked consistently to get angry and defiant little kids to be loving and obedient:

10-minute sessions EVERY DAY with each child where the parent just asked questions, paid attention, and showed them love.

Stopped so many behaviors.
Some played Go-Fish, some colored pictures, just just sat together. No screens. 10, literally timed on a countdown clock they could both see. Questions and questions with no advice or directions or scolding. Just interviewing with interest as if the parent cared about their child
10 minutes a day with each child turned things around even for families with older kids who were starting to use physical violence against adults to express their anger.

Being treated like they were loved changed their entire behavior pattern. Imagine that.
Read 10 tweets
25 Jul
As @MrsBrometheus and I enter the 2nd trimester with our 4th child, here’s a list of parental DOs and DON’Ts.

DO let your kids fight out their disputes (within reason) so they learn to manage family conflict.

DON’T toss a knife between them and tell them to “play for keeps.”
DO encourage your child to explore the world (in safe environments) without holding your hand so they learn to try new things on their own.

DON’T airdrop your child into the Appalachian wilderness with nothing but a hatchet and instructions to “make me proud.”
DO help them grow beyond imaginary friends by encouraging more real world friends.

DON’T tell them you murdered their imaginary friends so if they see them again it’s a malicious ghost seeking vengeance.
Read 4 tweets
30 Jun
Hollywood trains young people to believe someday they’ll be uplifted from their mediocre lives for being secretly special.

Harry Potter
Lord of the Rings
Star Wars

Magical old wizard saying “Oh hey, sorry I ignored you but you’re special.”

Are you waiting for a wizard?

Thread
I started out in poverty with fleas coming in through the walls and rats in the ceiling from dirty neighbors. Food stamps, eating food the gas station threw away. I worked hard at school and improving myself and raised my family above poverty.

No one came to uplift me. I worked.
I worked because I realized no rich relative was going to appear and help me. I wouldn’t win the lottery, and politicians didn’t actually care about helping me. It was entirely on me alone.

I realized my choices were stupid and shortsighted and I had to change and be better.
Read 12 tweets
12 Jun
Few realize that modern culture is a sham invented in the 1950s and 60s by the CIA to combat Communism with a false rennaissance.

Sounds sketchy? Follow me down the rabbit hole. newyorker.com/magazine/2005/…
When WWII ended, the West was left horrified by the growing threat of communism in Russia. And Americans as former British colonists had always felt looked down upon by Europeans for being backwater hicks without sophistication. Look up the lyrics to Yankee Doodle Dandy.
Russia at the time was spreading propaganda about how fantastic communism could be. Their old culture and architecture had blossomed into a new renaissance from 1880 to 1950. They looked like a cultural powerhouse. America saw this as a problem. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russian_R…
Read 15 tweets
6 Apr
Anxiety is your brain worrying what COULD happen.

When you run away, your brain learns that situation is definitely to be feared, and that running away helps. You build a worse pattern.

Facing your fear shows your brain what ACTUALLY happens. That diminishes your anxiety.
There are obviously limits to this.

If your anxiety is about a genuinely dangerous situation, use common sense.

And make sure you’re healthy enough to do this. Ptsd in particular makes this difficult due to the rapid shift in the limbic system.

This may be a goal to work up to
But your brain is a learning computer. It does what it can with the data you feed it.

If your brain is irrationally afraid of yellow socks, it could be that enough encounters will yellow socks will make the fear response extinct.

Or fear of riding the bus. Or of confrontation.
Read 4 tweets
29 Mar
Constant apologizing drains those around you.

"Sorry you have to put up with me!" The first time, people comfort you. The second time makes them tired. After that, it becomes exhausting.

Stop apologizing. Thank instead.

"Thank you for being so patient."

Practice gratitude.
Constant apologizing repels people as you suck away their emotional energy. "No, it's totally fine... really... please stop apologizing..." 🙄 Would you want to keep spending energy on someone who exhausts you?

But gratitude energizes people. Appreciation draws them in.
If you spend all your time apologizing, shift instead of gratitude. Find reasons to thank and compliment.

"Thank you for your patience today. You were an excellent teacher."

Avoid the urge to self-deprecate. "Thanks for being patient with my slow learning. I know I'm an idiot."
Read 7 tweets

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!


This site is made by just two indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3/month or $30/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Too expensive? Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal Become our Patreon

Thank you for your support!

Follow Us on Twitter!

:(