darth™ Profile picture
13 Aug, 5 tweets, 1 min read
just put the mask on
just do it i dare u
girl watching fire with kno...
i am just saying if u found a 2000 year old green serpenting stone mask at the base of the fuckin PYRAMID OF THE SUN there is just no way your first impulse would not be to lift it up to your face just to see if it fit
there is just no way u could resist
there is just no way i am not seeing u on your instagram page wearing that 2000 year old green serpentine mask with a 'looking cute might destroy the world later' caption
"looool fam check out this cursed mask, man"

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More from @darth

13 Aug
i googled 'how many people have been killed by a shark in great britain' and the list includes two people who blew themselves up with TNT trying to kill a shark if that helps
CASE CLOSE
Read 5 tweets
13 Aug
CASE CLOSE
also do not sleep on the coffee nap

just enjoy a delicious cup of coffee then have a snoozle it works u can believe me or not
Read 4 tweets
12 Aug
a senator who rails against public measures aimed at mitigating serious coronavirus cases for the last 16 months has been hiding his wifes investment in a company that makes a drug that treats serious coronavirus cases for the last 16 months

just making sure i have this right
i am sure this is one of those things that just looks worse when written down like this right

i am sure this is just business as usual up on the hill
one way for members of congress to avoid reporting stock sales that might be considered problematic from an ethics point of view is for congress to not allow their members to trade in individual stocks while serving in the public interest

it is just a suggestion
Read 4 tweets
9 Aug
isn't the smarmy "what risk is there to you" why we have delta and lambda
a twitter fren of mine has a relative on a ventilator in a hallway because there are not enough hospital rooms
i do not know if u care about her but i do and i despair at the situation where this came to be
i just do not get it
Read 5 tweets
9 Aug
to reiterate
u are not beating a goose in a fight
that goose will fuck u up
darth chasing goose who stole his light saber in untitled go
"i am still looking at the data before deciding if i can beat a grizzly bear in a fight still doing my own research"
Read 16 tweets

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