Thread by @RStomel

The reason it’s considered “for the child’s own good” to list an ex-husband—who is not the child’s biological father—as the child’s legal father has to do with halachic principles that, originally, were beneficial but today can be harmful. Here’s how:

https://twitter.com/rstomel/status/1430866248498302976

A mamzer is a product of a biblically forbidden relationship—either certain forms of incest or a married woman’s affair (but not a married man’s affair). It is a devastating stigma: a mamzer cannot marry within “the congregation of God” ie other Jews (except mamzerim & converts)

(And yes, the fact that converts are excluded from the designation “congregation of God” is disturbing and a discussion for a different thread)

Not only is a mamzer restricted from marrying—all of his future descendants will bear the mamzer label as well, for all future generations, and are saddled with the same marriage restrictions. In some ways, it is reminiscent of the “untouchable” caste in India.

Because the mamzer label is so devastating, halacha tries to prevent its application. In the case of a child born of a married woman with a man who is not her husband, one way we can avert the child’s mamzer status is to presume that the husband is actually the child’s father.

One way to do this is by invoking the halachic principle of “rov be’ilot achar haba’al” —we presume that the majority of sexual relations a woman engages in is with her husband. Therefore, it is most likely that any child born is his, and not a mamzer.

Originally, this arrangement was beneficial to all: the child was afforded security, a roof over their head, a family; the woman was spared shame and divorce (which at the time was a near death sentence since women had little property rights); the husband’s honor was preserved; >

and the man with whom the woman had an affair was relived of having to financially support the child. It was a win-win all around, preserved the social order, and kept families intact.
Today, this principle of “rov beilot achar habaal” has almost the opposite outcome.

Most cases of mamzerut today are not the result of married women who want to conceal affairs so that they can stay married and keep their families intact. Most are the children of agunot—women who have been trying (often for years!) to divorce men who refuse to give them a get.

In these cases, the women *want* to get divorced, and would have already if not for their abusive husbands refusing to free them. They *want* to raise children with a new partner. They certainly don’t want the man they’ve been trying to divorce to have paternity of their new kid.

Today, in Israel, mamzerut is a legal status as well as a religious one. Likewise, the principle of “rov beilot achat habaal” is applied legally to any child born to a woman who is still married (including agunot) or any child born within 300days (10 months) after receiving a get

This means that the estranged husband—the get refuser—or the ex-husband of a woman who gave birth less than 10 months post-divorce, has legal guardianship of a child that is not his, and whom he maybe never even met! This is an arrangement ripe for abuse:

As legal father, he can withold consent for the child’s medical treatment. His permission is needed to get the child a passport or to allow the child to leave the country. He can abduct the kid and the mother will have little legal recourse because legally, he’s the father.

Take, for example, this recent case where a man extorted his ex-wife by trying to take custody of her child from her new partner:

https://twitter.com/cwjisrael/status/1420834057336807425

The child also suffers in other ways: they can’t have their actual father on their ID, their legal last name is that of the estranged/ex-husband, they can’t inherit from their father. If needed, the mom can’t sue the real father for child support bc he’s not the legal father.

From a halachic standpoint, assigning paternity to the estranged/ex-husband “saves” the child from the mamzer label— but in Israel, it’s at the expense of their civil rights. Worth it if it prevents mamzerut, you might argue. BUT HERE’S THE KICKER: IT DOESN’T. Because...

If/when the child eventually tries to get married, they will most likely be investigated anyway as a potential mamzer!
Because anyone whose father is listed as “unknown” in their ID or who was born within 300 days of their mom’s divorce are automatically flagged.

So these kids are deprived of all sorts of rights their whole childhood, ostensibly for the purpose of preserving their right to marry later on, and then *still* can’t get married later on.
They get the short end of all the sticks.

To sum up: Israel’s lack of separation between religion and state, and the current mamzer laws that are intended to help children, put children at risk legally, psychologically, financially and religiously.
Until more people are aware that this happens, no one will demand change.

And that is where you all come in.