Thankfully, my current shul allows women to speak and I’ve done it twice—once a couple weeks ago, when I led an interactive shiur about mamzerut, and two years ago, when my husband and I gave a joint drasha for our anniversary
There was a case in Israel like this about 10 years ago-- a guy married a woman for the purposes of extorting her for a get. He fled to America the day after the wedding (using plane tix he bought pre-wedding) and then told her his price of 40,000 shekels for a get. >
The Israeli Rabbinic Court told her that she needed to pay him the price he wanted (otherwise, it would be a "forced get"). She was 19, had no money, & was now an agunah after 1 day of "marriage." She launched a crowdfunding campaign. More hurdles along the way. Long story short>
She was finally freed two years later when a private, non-state rabbinic court was convened by Mavoi Satum, a women's org, to halachically annul her marriage. (The way they did this was by declaring the man's conversion invalid, and therefore the marriage invalid as well) >
The reason it’s considered “for the child’s own good” to list an ex-husband—who is not the child’s biological father—as the child’s legal father has to do with halachic principles that, originally, were beneficial but today can be harmful. Here’s how:
A mamzer is a product of a biblically forbidden relationship—either certain forms of incest or a married woman’s affair (but not a married man’s affair). It is a devastating stigma: a mamzer cannot marry within “the congregation of God” ie other Jews (except mamzerim & converts)
(And yes, the fact that converts are excluded from the designation “congregation of God” is disturbing and a discussion for a different thread)
Picture this: You leave an abusive relationship, get divorced, and a few years later, remarry and have a baby. But in the hospital, to your horror, when they write down the baby's legal details, they insist on recording your ex as the baby's father, for the baby's "own good."
🧵>
This is the story of one of our clients, including testimony in her own words from a speech she gave in the Knesset a few years ago, with the hopes of shedding light on a problem that few people understand. Names and details have been changed to protect her identity.
2/
"Six years ago, I decided to separate from my now ex-husband. I asked him for a divorce. He told me that he would not give me a get (Jewish bill of divorce) because he thought we weren't done for good. He thought I would change my mind and we would live happily ever after.
3/
Note that this monthly fine was approved by the same R Lau who opposes all halachic prenups, which work by requiring the recalcitrant party to pay the other a monthly sum until the get is given.
What’s the difference here? >>
1) Well, with a halachic prenup, both men and women can use it to extract themselves from get refusal; here, the beit din will only levy fines on a woman but never on a man (because of the concern of a “forced get”)
And
2) With a halachic prenup, the victim can go to a civil court and directly enforce the financial support clause, without needing the beit din's approval; here, only the beit din can control who is allowed to get help, who does not, and when.
To be clear, my beef here is with rabbis who insist they must be in the room the whole time watching.
For those who want to learn more about how this happens in Israel, check out the documentary film
מעשה באישה וחלוק
by @Nurit_Jacobs woman.aluma-films.com
#DidYouKnow that we once had a client who was stuck as an agunah, though her husband had died, because she could not perform halitza with her brother-in-law since his foot had been amputated due to diabetes complications?
Learn more about this story and other cases of halitza in this episode of @cwjisrael’s Hebrew podcast!
יבום וחליצה 2020 במדינת ישראל - זה קורה גם היום cwjpodcast.libsyn.com/episode--2020
*Correction: she was not a client of ours, rather a case in a psak din that one of our to'anot had encountered