I dunno, but I am extremely not into “feedback” at work, I do not want to “learn and develop”, I am anti “growth mindset”(which seems to be a way to justify telling employees they’re never good enough, holding them locked into that position and telling them they should like it)
and I get really positive glowing feedback all the time! but it still makes me feel icky, like I’m very skeptical that other people could judge or evaluate me in a way that is helpful to me
also there’s a whole bunch of stuff I am bad at… it’s because I don’t value it or find it interesting so no lol I am not going to work on it. and *maybe* I would be more valuable to my employer if I did but really, maybe not, and I think I’m plenty valuable to them as I am today
I think it’s an interesting question - are employers better off with a team that feels whole and secure in their self-worth or insecure and constantly trying to prove themselves?
my honest answer is that it probably depends on the type and creativity of work that they are doing
👇 I’ve had two conversations that were enormously impactful on me life, with people I respected (my linear algebra professor and my rocksbox cofounder) where they got frustrated and yelled at me #toughlove
I scheduled time to see friends this weekend — I haven’t seen them in over a year and was excited! We planned where to meet - a restaurant, Taylor’s Shellfish maybe? and I just felt my whole body tense up.
A restaurant? It’d be so crowded on a Saturday, and Covid is still here. We might have to wait for a table. And it’s always either too fucking sunny at Taylor’s or freezing cold.
I usually don’t host at home mostly because I hate cooking while loving fancy food.
but opening my eyes and being more flexible and leaning into what I want and problem solving (and advice from my sage sister) resulted in us hiring a local chef to make us lunch at my house
nothing has been explained to me more than men telling me you can’t hang heavy shit on drywall without a stud
it is almost always followed by them failing to operate a stud finder correctly
but swear to god I must have really fucked this up in a past life to have to be explained this 100 times over. the first million times I was like “oh because I’m young they don’t know how handy & self-sufficient I am” but now there’s no explanation
I owe so much of my career to Meg inviting me in to share some of the earliest days of Rocksbox.
Damn, what a fucking education in building a business.
Meg had designed a product customers LOVED.
She taught me the value of healthy margins and stress of customer acquisition.
I know that being acquired by a public company will bring the Rocksbox vision -- women bringing their best selves to the world because they feel confident -- to a much larger scale 📈
(so funny to see the RB member described as "self-purchasing woman" 😂) forbes.com/sites/pamdanzi…
the most persistent, longest-running thread of trauma in my life is “you should have known better”
for the first 15 years of my life it was “you should have known better because everyone knows this” and for the next 15 years it was “you should have known better because you’re so smart” and now it’s “you should have known better because you have so much influence”
it’s driven my furious drive to always learn more about the world, but it never seems like I learn enough, or maybe not the right things?
and now I’m getting tired like fuck it seems like I can never get ahead of hearing this refrain so why bother trying
if you’re an extremely whacky fintech person I can’t recommend applying for a mortgage enough it is a wild and super fun time pscp.tv/w/ceh8vzg0Nzgz…
featuring frequently asked questions of me like “you list having $10,000 in “Affirm”. Which firm are you talking about? Is it a retirement firm?”
“What is H *squint* M Bradley?”
“Is this... Chime... $250... something?”
“I see you have an installment loan... for your rent?”
oh also I’ve heard lots of complaints about it being hard / annoying / outdated to get a mortgage but it actually seems like it is fun and easy my guess is that people who complain about this amount of documentation have never e.g. become a licensed money transmitter