Thread by @tressiemcphd

We. Cannot. Afford. Weddings.

https://twitter.com/tressiemcphd/status/1432863814035378178

You know how hood businesses have signs with all these rules and it’s because they have NO margin for error and their customers chafe at the rules because they also have NO margin for error and so the whole thing becomes antagonistic when it should just be chicken wings & vibes?

That’s weddings to me at this point. A good delivery vehicle for chicken wings at some historical point that has been ruined by insurance and rents and wage theft and no amount of rules can fix that and no chicken wings can ever be good enough to suffer through it.

I swear to you I’m sober.

And it doesn’t take much for me to stretch this argument to fit most themed events. Just give the people chicken wings and save all the rules for the war!!!

Wow I’m not done.

Can we also love our people enough, genuinely, to stop expecting bourgeois concepts like “RSVP” to make sense in various contexts?

Maybe the people you love enough to want them at your wedding do not share the white class based norms upon which wedding culture is built? Is that possible? Maybe RSVP isn’t the contract we act like it is?

I am just suggesting that if you have to level people up to your aspirational class rituals then you have to pay for them to do it. The cost to be the boss and all that.

And much like loaning money, if you are going to miss it enough to make an invoice for it? It wasn’t a gift and you couldn’t afford it.

All of these rules always relied on jive tight class interests to communicate them and enforce them. You don’t invoice, you SHUN etc. The very fact that you have to make an invoice says those rules did NOT emerge from your shared class or cultural interests with your guests.

If you want to act out Bridgerton on a budget with your friends and family, that’s great! But *know* what you’re doing, I guess, and know what you’re really asking other people to do. Maybe the no-shows will go down easier that way.

But if we are going to do all of this that cake better be moist as hell. I mean MOIST. All those dry ass cakes.

Now I’m done.