You know how hood businesses have signs with all these rules and it’s because they have NO margin for error and their customers chafe at the rules because they also have NO margin for error and so the whole thing becomes antagonistic when it should just be chicken wings & vibes?
That’s weddings to me at this point. A good delivery vehicle for chicken wings at some historical point that has been ruined by insurance and rents and wage theft and no amount of rules can fix that and no chicken wings can ever be good enough to suffer through it.
I swear to you I’m sober.
And it doesn’t take much for me to stretch this argument to fit most themed events. Just give the people chicken wings and save all the rules for the war!!!
Wow I’m not done.

Can we also love our people enough, genuinely, to stop expecting bourgeois concepts like “RSVP” to make sense in various contexts?
Maybe the people you love enough to want them at your wedding do not share the white class based norms upon which wedding culture is built? Is that possible? Maybe RSVP isn’t the contract we act like it is?
I am just suggesting that if you have to level people up to your aspirational class rituals then you have to pay for them to do it. The cost to be the boss and all that.
And much like loaning money, if you are going to miss it enough to make an invoice for it? It wasn’t a gift and you couldn’t afford it.
All of these rules always relied on jive tight class interests to communicate them and enforce them. You don’t invoice, you SHUN etc. The very fact that you have to make an invoice says those rules did NOT emerge from your shared class or cultural interests with your guests.
If you want to act out Bridgerton on a budget with your friends and family, that’s great! But *know* what you’re doing, I guess, and know what you’re really asking other people to do. Maybe the no-shows will go down easier that way.
But if we are going to do all of this that cake better be moist as hell. I mean MOIST. All those dry ass cakes.

Now I’m done.

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More from @tressiemcphd

14 Sep
I started a little indie show called The Crown. You probably haven’t heard of it. These people are horrible.
I will say that one good thing about being royal is somebody packs your luggage for you. So there’s that.
This is too many rules and everybody is so racist.
Read 21 tweets
11 Sep
I spent the morning explaining the Applebee’s song to Vivian.

“Is this what they call influencing?! Am I influenced??
“I’m confused. Did he make the song FOR Applebee’s or does he really take his girlfriend to Applebee’s.”
“I like the dance. I’m going to learn it. I can’t look any crazier than he does!”
Read 5 tweets
9 Sep
Put down what you’re playing with and look at me. Look directly at me with both your eyes and your ears. Still yourself. Hear me good:

Anyone who promises that the thing they are asking you to do for free or cheap will be “easy” and “low lift” is absolutely lying to you.
They are nice people…and they’re lying.

They like you, love you, respect you…and they’re lying.

They do not mean you any harm..and they’re lying.
Every ask is a significant commitment and you need to know that and believe it and act like it. Do it for love or to get into heaven. But just know that it will not be easy, fast, low lift, quick or anything similar.
Read 4 tweets
7 Sep
I do not talk about it because I don't need that hassle and I'm not really talking about it now. I'm *complaining*, which is different. But somewhere along the way I started and grew a whole ass business and holy crap is it overwhelming.
The only acceptable responses to this complaining is to 1) talk private ish about me in your group chat 2) tell me how sorry you are for me 3) offer me things to feel better that is NOT bread.
You add to this the notable increase in administration that my professor job entails and it is all my least favorite things at one time.
Read 4 tweets
7 Sep
This is the kind of fantasy people have about higher education and progressivism. It is a causal boondoggle, depends on one’s definition of “sure fire”, and has notable exceptions so notable that it begs the question of the rule altogether
Do people less likely to become conservative reactionaries become that way because they go to college or are those people just more likely to go to college? There are a few surveys that try at causation but it’s a noisy mess (and I think they’re old).
I am fine with thinking higher education is generally good but I suspect that we hit the ceiling of how many white men college can turn into liberals long ago. No reason to think that this is a trend line.
Read 9 tweets
4 Sep
The move. I still have anxiety flashbacks. Whew. I eventually got everything I needed but not everything I wanted. And forget about it on services like electricians or a handyman.
You cannot even trick for a handyman type like the old days because fools out here unvaccinated. Or, uh, so I’ve heard.
I was hacked.
Read 4 tweets

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