Bergkamp was an absolute master. My favourite player of all time.

But one thing I will say: Unless you watched him play from the stands, you never saw one reason WHY he was so good:

He LOVED to shithouse defenders. /1
You'd see it from the stands at Highbury. He'd spend whole games leaning in on his marker, giving them a little shove occasionally, giving them a wink or smile whenever he made a pass, shouting to the ref about them.

Nothing nasty. Just constant, low-grade tactical shithousing😁
And then the moment would come. Someone would ping a ball to him and you could almost HEAR the defender's thoughts. Their footballing brain would turn off, just for a second, and emotion would kick in.

"RIGHT. Got him."

And they'd go in on him.
And it was EXACTLY what he wanted. Because he knew how good his first touch was, both through talent, and pure bloody graft and training.

And by switching off their football brain for just one second the defender let him use that touch, his greatest weapon, against them.
And bosh.

He'd tap it round them, or float it over them, or dink it under them. He'd see the gap they'd inevitably created and use it.

And then he'd be away. And he'd have time and space to move and shoot. Or to ping it to the runner the defender SHOULD have covered.

GOOOOAL!
It was absolute magic to watch. Not as magic as the goals, obviously, but who doesn't like watching one of your own players winding up the opposition a bit? Especially when you knew what it led to. It was like a tasty appetiser.
Anyway. Just wanted to flag it as it's something you'll NEVER see on highlight vids or Sky Sports Live. It's why kids being able to watch top, top players play IN PERSON (and being able to afford to do so) is so critical.

On TV/YouTube you only see what happens on the ball.
And what makes players god-tier: the Bergkamps, the Henrys, the Ronaldos and the Messis, not just world-class-tier, is how they sweat the margins of the game. How they manage it. What they do out of position.

And yes.

How they shithouse.

In person, you see it. On cameras? Nope
So every time I see a clip of a Bergkamp goal, i sit back and enjoy it for what it will inevitably be. A moment of beauty.

But I also smile at the memory of all the work he'd do to quietly set himself up with that opportunity in the first place.

My #arsenal hero, forever.

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More from @garius

13 Sep
🚨🚨 Breaking Little Stray Kitty news 🚨🚨
She's still super nervous in the house. She'll perch for a moment in the enticing boxes with soft things in, then she'll spring up and be all:

"NOPE NOPE can't risk. Mustn't stay. Bye thank you 4 fud."

If this was an anime she'd be sad nervous lonely girl.

It's heartbreaking.
But hopefully we get there before the real cold weather kicks in. And we still need to find a way to get her to a vet so she can be snipped and health checked.

But this is progress. Slow. But progress.
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13 Sep
Kids menu chicken nugget lunch and the latest issue of Modern Drunkard.

Adulthood is what you decide you want it to be. Magazine next go box containing nuggets and chips.
Really good article on EJ Gallo trying to go upmarket and quietly ditching Night Train/Thunderbird, in case you're trying to squint at what I'm reading.
Btw for those of you who thought Guns n Roses were singing about an actual night train... Bless.

The song was about EJ Gallo's dirty little bottles of power boozing.
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13 Sep
Weirdly, I actually know the answer to this. Knew it as soon as I heard it.

Pretty cert the Matrix version of White Rabbit is the same one that was on the soundtrack for The Game (1997), which was a very slightly up-mixed version from Jefferson's 1967 album Surrealistic Pillow.
I know this (or think I do) because I remember hearing it in an otherwise mediocre film as a 17 year old and it blew my mind so fucking much I bought the soundtrack on Cassette.

Good luck finding it today though.
Good news is that it really is only slightly different from the Surrealistic Pillow mono version. Which you can find on Spotify here, and is a critical part of my "Music for drunken night bus trips home from Central London" personal playlist.

open.spotify.com/track/0B06qo77…
Read 16 tweets
11 Sep
Love that Brenda is up at midnight on a Saturday, knocking back the Merlot and just watching random shit on Amazon Prime. letter from the queen congr...
I wonder if, once a week, some rando director of a terrible straight to video movie wakes up to a letter like this in their email.

Brenda's drunk watching is so much more awesome than mine.
I bet the rest of the royals wanted to watch it on Channel 4, but the queen was like:

Fuck offff. This is the first time I'll have used my Prime Sub for anything other than free Twitch subscriptions in MONTHS. Fire up the lappy.
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Right. It's Friday. So have a (relatively) short history thread!

Let's talk about the plan to use Lancasters, not B29s drop the first atomic bombs.

Because I've noticed this story popping up a fair bit again recently. And there's truth in it, but often surrounded by myth. /1 Lancaster flying alongside a hurricane
Let's get one thing out of the way first:

Lancaster bombers COULDN'T have done the Hiroshima/Nagasaki raids, as flown. This is the thing I've been seeing thrown around and it's just plane wrong. (😉)

Got that? Coolio.

But there's a nugget of truth here. Here's what happened:
Meet Norman Ramsey Jr. Ramsey headed up the E-7 Group within the Manhattan Project. He was the chap in charge of working out how to actually get the big explodey bombs (once built) to the target.

This was not easy. From the beginning, it was clear they'd be rather big. Ramsey signing the Fat Man bomb
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Help.

I'm stuck. Kitty curled up in my legs on the bed.
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