Thread by @LeaMikkola

#ADHD 🧵 no. 3.

What are my main ADHD characteristics?

This will be a lengthy one 😬 I will write another thread later describing the pros and cons (and other subjects) in more detail.

#adhdtwitter

First, every person with ADHD (diagnosed or not) is different and has a divergent set of ADHD-related traits/characteristics. It is a spectrum, not a clear-cut categorization (which also makes it hard to diagnose).

Another thing that often creates confusion (and the ADHD community would like to change) is the word 'deficit' in the name. The issue isn't really that ADHDers would lack attention but rather a disregulation of it.

I'm not going into detail in the clinical definition of ADHD, but I'm going to first list and then explain some of the strongest characteristics I exhibit. Some are more or less consequential to the higher order issues (e.g. inattentiviness), but I'm not separating them here.

This list is not all-inclusive, but I must start somewhere 😅

*Impulsiveness
*Inattentiveness
*Poor working memory
*HYPERfocus
*Emotional dysregulation
*Sleep problems
*Non-linear thinking
*Poor perception of time "time-blindness"

Impulsiveness is definitely a major part of me and has caused many masking habits to avoid problems (btw masking is hard, but it's another topic). It shows as impatience or as urge to talk or act on impulse. E.g. I may end sentences or answer a question before it's finished.

Impulsivity combined with time-blindness is really tricky. It means that when I take on tasks (be it at home, hobbies or work), I have no perception of the consequences on my schedules. I've developed workarounds for it but the issue ALWAYS remains and I have to be vigilant.

Inattention, where to start. There's so many ways it manifests in me, the nickname 'sleepwalker' is on point😬 The key thing to understand here is that most of the time my inattentiveness is due to me hyperfocusing on something or my mind is otherwise going hyper.

Usual metaphor for ADHD is "to have multiple TV channels open simultaneously". I never recognized myself from this but I can relate with the one where someone is relentlessly channel-surfing. My mind is basically constantly racing multiple series of thought, if not hyperfocusing.

Examples: I may not hear anything while talked to if I'm hyperfocusing, my mind wanders during a conversation (unless extremely interesting and sometimes even then), I can't concentrate on menial tasks unless I obsessively organize everything so that I can do them on 'autopilot'.

This has made me a slave to my habits. I need to have routine, otherwise nothing gets done except the interesting stuff, or my day will be so messed up I have no idea what's happening.

Here's a little example: one day at work I decided to pick up my mug from upstairs office instead of buying a paper-one (save the planet you know) from downstairs coffee shop on-the-go and then go to the office. This small change in routine messed up my whole freaking day...

... because first I forgot the mug I went to get in the first place, so had to take the paper-one anyway, just to realize I had left my wallet upstairs. This cumulated into a series of sad incidents and finally I ended up going home exhausted.

That's just an example and I imagine some think "that could happen to anyone", but it happens to me every single time IF I don't keep up with my routines and I'll end up as a pile of mess. It's a consequence of executive dysfunction, which is behind many ADHD traits.

Poor working-memory. ADHDers have been shown to have an impaired short-term memory. For me this causes issues in memorizing e.g. details or long instructions. I suck at multiple-choice exams where one needs to remember details, and I always need to have written instructions.

And even if a task has gone into long-term memory, but it's trivial, I still need to have the instructions because inattention and wandering mind 🤷😅

HYPERfocus, my favourite. This is definitely more a pro than a con. It has made me who I am as a researcher and I wouldn't change it for the world. Sure, it can cause problems when I'd like to hyperfocus on the interesting stuff and the boring things need attention.

So, hyperfocus means I can focus on something interesting for prolonged periods of time. For example, I hyperfocused my dissertation into a book in three weeks. I worked on it literally day and night and I'm lucky and grateful I have a very understanding partner 😀❤️

The con here is that I don't take it well when my hyperfocus is disturbed. Especially when I also exhibit the emotional dysregulation side of ADHD I need to be mindful I don't treat ppl bad by being snappy. It can be quite arduous, but I've gotten better at it.

Emotional dysregulation (ED). This is the most painful bit. Basically my emotional range in a day can be something like this 😊😑😒😤🙂🤬😳😌😖🙃😄😐, but it fluctuates. It doesn't show outside much because I've learned to mask it but I can tell you it's exhausting 😮‍💨

ED's something I really would like to find more support for, because it drains my energy on almost daily basis, even though it has become less severe with age (I was a real hot head in my youth 😬).

Sleep problems. ADHDers disproportionately exhibit delayed sleep phase and I'm one them. I've always been an night-owl and my natural sleep rhythm would be from ~ 2 AM to 9 AM. That doesn't really work in modern society now does it. I've fought this all my life with poor success.

Additionally my sleep is affected by overstimulation (mind / nervous system can't calm down) and oversensitivities (sound, light, touch...), which are also intertwined. So long story short, I don't sleep well and if I'm sending email at 3 AM, that's unfortunately normal.

Non-linear thinking (this deserves its own 🧵). ADHDers have "issues" with sequential thinking, we think non-linearly. Meaning we don't go from A to B to C to D, we may go from A to D (with stuff we are experts in) or from A to C to X to D (sometimes we may get lost and miss D).

It looks like I'm running out of space for this thread so I'll have to leave time-blindness for another time 😶 Just to give a hint, first it's 9 AM and suddenly it's 2 PM and you're late for a meeting and haven't even eaten lunch yet 😅 One word: alarms (and you may still fail)

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