Chakshu started at the screen. Eight windows of work colleagues talking, discussing; their voices filling his empty room.
8 colleagues he had never met.
His finger inched towards the cursor to unmute, an important point on the tip of his tongue.
He sighed, let it go.
THREAD.
A 100 unread emails filled his inbox. Names of people whom he spoke to every day about numbers and projects, and nothing else.
He knew Deepa by her energetic Hiii-s, Pankaj by his slight stutter and weird punctuation, Milan by her smilies and pretty ppts.
Nothing else.
2.
Yesterday, Jaggi, his old friend from his last job had texted. The conversation had been brief.
"Kaisa hai, achha hoon, kaam kaise chal raha hai, mummi-papa kaise hai"... You know the type.
The exact opposite of the kind they used to share in 2019, physically, over a smoke.
3.
Someone said his name, asked a question. Chakshu reeled his mind in and gave his input.
His boss' voice (video off) sounded off something sarcastic. Chakshu's confidence hit a new low.
He felt sad. Low.
Alone.
4.
Amit from Finance chipped in, with the usual chip on his shoulder. These IIM types, Chakshu thought, irritated, feeling worse.
"If you hate the job so much, why don't you quit," his sister had asked, exasperated, the other day.
Rightly exasperated—
5.
—she'd heard so much unnecessary ranting from him since he'd joined the place four months back.
But Chakshu didn't want to quit. The job paid well, and maybe when he finally met his colleagues, they'd like him and he'd like them too?
The call was winding down.
Finally.
6.
Chakshu had barely spoken. He thought he should say something bold, analytical—make his impression this monthly review.
But he sighed and gave up.
What was the point? To these people he was still the 'new guy', an email id, a voice and a source of numbers.
7.
"I don’t want to straight-face you
Race or chase you, track or trace you
Or disgrace you or displace you
Or define you or confine you
All I really want to do
Is, baby, be friends with you,"
Bob Dylan's voice would sing through his empty room in a bit.
But to what end?
8.
Call done, he headed to wash his face & change out of the crisp shirt into something rumpled enough to match his boxers.
Yet another day was over. And he hadn't made an 'inpact'.
Atleast it was done.
The phone rang.
Chakshu grimmaced.
With little enthusiasm, he answered.
9.
It was Raghav from Sales asking for some numbers. Robotically, Chakshu obliged. Raghav hmm-ed.
Task done, between them a silence settled.
"So," Raghav asked tentatively, "How have your first 4 months been, yaar?"
Good heavens, thought Chakshu, here we go with small talk...
10
An hour later, Chakshu & Raghav had exchanged insta handles.
Raghav had a dog who seemed hilarious & also seemed to be terrible at dating online. He asked Chakshu questions about home, his sister and food. They complained about how long it had been since fresh brewed beer.
11.
An hour later when Chakshu hung up, he just sat and smiled.
Had he made friend today?
At 28 being excited over something as simple as making a friend seemed wild.
Shaking his head in disbelief as he got up to make dinner, his phone buzzed.
12.
"Yaar email dekh. Saturday ko bhi kaam deta hai, khadoos, zalim," the Whatsapp message said.
"Saath mein zoom pe karein kya?" Chakshu replied.
"DONE. And after that virtual watch party for India match?"
13.
Chakshu's sister didn't get a call that day.
Chakshu did unmute and make his point on Monday.
When IIM type Amit "interjected" with his "tiny nuance" on their next group call, Chakshu turned off his camera to stiffle a laugh. Raghav, on Whatsapp, was hilarious.
14.
And endearing, and patient, and someone to trust.
Yes, he was still a voice, still a screen, still words on text—but a friend nevertheless.
Someone to laugh with, someone to bitch to, someone to conspire with, someone whom he looked forward to talking to, and likewise.
14.
And sometimes, THAT is all we really need, all that is needed to change how we see our lives. :)
FIN.
This one is for everyone who has started a job in this long, long pandemic and roll their eyes every time they hear yet another person say, "The future is virtual, by 2050 all offices will be online."
Hope you all have someone to laugh with+ conspiratorialy smile at, at work! :)
• • •
Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to
force a refresh
I met a man in a cab the other day. He was awful, impatient, terribly rude.
He honked at every car he saw, and almost knocked down a lady crossing the road. When I asked him to slow down, he glared at me.
I clung to my seat, counting minutes; hoping for the best.
THREAD.
A beggar lady came by. Our man glowered at her. Yelled at a tempo driver. Spoke very rudely to a couple on a bike.
What was his problem, I wondered. This rude, rude man.
Finally, destination reached, I rummaged for change. There was none.
Gingerly, I produced a ₹500.
2.
Now it was my turn to be glowered at.
Muttering under his breath, he shuffled through the storage in his cab. Papers, newspapers, photos of God, plastic, change—paraphernalia of a rude man's life.
Some days it hurts so much, colours all your hours. Other days, it's no where to be seen.
Death is not strange.
It's always there, ever permanent. The only thing that's truly permanent—thus entirely incomprehensible.
What is the point about being sad about death, though?
The sadness comes in waves..your heart squeezes inside your ribcage. You hug yourself and cry out of frustration—frustration because there's no end to this grief. No matter how much you cry they won't come back.
Even if you forget them, it'll make them no difference.
So unto what end goes this means?
Nothing.
Nothingness.
Afterall that is death.
Your someone special, bones and flesh, reduced to nothing, tears and wispy memories.
Indu stared at the empty-ish platform, panting. In the distance, the train picked up speed. The soles of her feet felt hot and dirty, the wet patch on her blouse clung to her back.
it was too late.
Who would bring Rishi from school today? What about Babuji's lunch?
THREAD.
On call, Mahesh listened to her predicament in silence
Then, in the way common to every man, he issued directions for the next time this happened. "Always go 10minutes early to the station. Don't attend the last darshan if it's close to the train timing. Go with a friend..."
2.
Nervously, Indu fidgeted as she listened to her husband trail on. There would be no next time! She would make sure.
But what about now!?
"How do I come back?" she gushed, interrupting Mahesh.
"Well. The next train is at 7. Take that, I'll pick you up from the station."
Three years back, when considering a job in Delhi, I found a broker online.
I saved his name as "Noida PG", spoke to him once about a flat, eventually didn't move, but somehow never landed up deleting the number.
Three years on, I feel like I've been a part of his life.
THREAD
Just like the 100 odd numbers we save ("Doodhwala Ramesh", "Aruna Taxi", "Kunal bus ticket guy" or "Satrangi Bandra Vegetables") and then forget, for months Noida PG sat in my phone contact list, forgotten.
Then, one day, while idling away, I saw a strange WhatsApp story.
2.
A bearded man in a black shirt, jeans and sunglasses was celebrating something with friends. They had lit a bonfire, and standing dangerously close to flames were laughing raucously.
I stared at the story and the name "Noida PG" wondering who this was and,
I met him about a month back, instantly affronted by the fact that he giggled at my name. And ofcourse, said it wrong.
In formal shirts &crooked laughs conversation with him flowed like Mumbai's traffic doesn't—on and on and on, almost till you want to hit a speed breaker!
+
Full of anecdotes and jokes, this man's pitara of memories seemed bottomless. From escapades in his small town home with his neighbour's daughter to more audacious runs in city malls—he was the heart and soul of every conversation.
+
You simply had to look at him, ask a question and there would be words.
"Do you talk in your sleep, too?" I asked him by day 2.
He chuckled, told me yet another anecdote.
"He's the funniest guy you'd ever meet," said of him everyone I came to know.