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your fnord myk Profile picture
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11 Sep, 4 tweets, 2 min read
We did it. They are stopping, for now.

Activism works. Making noise works. Being generally annoying works.

You know what would work really well, though, next time?

Allies.

I wish autistic people had allies. We don’t, we do this ourselves and exhaust ourselves every time.
Thank you especially to @AnnMemmott and @AutSciPerson for leading the charge on this. They are both leaders in our community and you should follow them if you don’t.
Update: they… stopped?
Sigh. I'm a chump, sometimes. I want to believe in the best in people. But it looks like I got played a bit.

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More from @mykola

your fnord myk Profile picture
11 Sep
Yikes, wow, unfollowing now. Was a big fan of successfully and predictably replicating measurements to prove theories, did NOT know about the total inability to engage meaningfully with the subjective domain of experience.
But yikes, unfollowing now. I was a huge fan of its ability to treat illness using scientific rigor, I did NOT know it pathologized everything it didn’t understand and normalized anything it couldn’t address.
Big yikes, unfollowing now. Was a huge fan of the ability to use numeric values to explore relational truths, did NOT realize it was impossible to do this with any kind of internal consistency without injecting external context and meaning.
Read 4 tweets
your fnord myk Profile picture
11 Sep
Happy forever war day, I guess?
20 years ago I was sleeping in. I was 18 and college didn’t start for another week.

My mom burst into my room screaming “they’re bombing New York!!!” and I spent the rest of the day consuming horror and nationalist rhetoric on the tv.
I was a young kid who didn’t know anything, but I knew the things I was hearing didn’t match the things I was seeing.

The drumbeats to war fueled by every tv network, the bad-faith arguments, the self-righteous anger that refused to engage with “why”.
Read 6 tweets
your fnord myk Profile picture
11 Sep
You vs autistic people re burnout:

You: very tired, need a vacation, don’t wanna do this tedious work anymore.

Autistic people: how does language? What is eating? Why do conversations physically hurt? Can I just lay here forever now?
You, burned out: “i am taking a week to do my hobbies and sleep in”

Autistic person burned out and trying to do favorite hobbies:
I don’t know that I’ve ever adequately conveyed the horror of “language stopped working”.

I was trapped in my body with no meaningful way to communicate my experience.
Read 6 tweets
your fnord myk Profile picture
10 Sep
I ended up defaulting into not relapsing, because my delivery service closed while I was still deliberating with myself.

I was in a really desperate, bad, shameful place last night.

Medicine or not, nothing should have that much power over me. THAT'S why I quit.
I take Vyvanse for my ADHD but I don't spend all day thinking about my next pill.

I eat food to stay alive, but I don't spend every moment thinking about my next meal.

And yet with weed if I'm not smoking I'm thinking about it. That feels unhealthy, I'm not using it as a tool.
Last night I was weak, and I ended up putting a ton of pressure on my accountability buddy when they didn't need that kind of pressure. I wasn't looking for support, I was looking for permission to lapse. And only I can give that to me.
Read 7 tweets
your fnord myk Profile picture
10 Sep
Just because you’re autistic doesn’t mean you can’t be a bad person with harmful views.

Nobody is saying all autistic people have to agree on everything but this person proudly identifies as a TERF so maybe block them proactively?
"But Myk, that's intolerant, why are you calling someone out publicly to thousands of people just because you disagree with their politics?"

Hating trans people isn't politics, it's values. When someone shares their values with you you believe them.

This person isn't safe.
When someone tells you "I am a racist";
When someone tells you "I hate gay people";
When someone tells you "Trans people are just mentally ill";

That person is saying "I do not see everyone as equally human" and in our community it's important to know who those people are.
Read 6 tweets
your fnord myk Profile picture
9 Sep
I have decided that I want to have a weed relapse. But doing so involves disappointing people I promised to be accountable to. And now I don’t know what to do I feel like I’m betraying myself no matter what choice I make.

I hate that I am an addict.
I stopped smoking because I was smoking too much. But I made a stupid mistake: a couple of days ago I realized I could scrape a tiny bit of resin out of my grinder.

I have had, over the past 3 days, a number of desperate and utterly disappointing resin hits.

“Sobriety” indeed.
Now I’m so so so wired for it, primes, I just want to smoke one for damned bit of actual flower so that I can finish this promise that resin made to my body.

And also I know that’s an addict’s bullshit.
Read 5 tweets

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