Thread by @MollyMcKew

Sitting in a playground at Walter Reed waiting for friend to get out of appt. Very cute navy doctor walks past. Stops. Comes back. Ogles hideous sponge bob coffee cup my dad gave me.

“Ma’am, I just wanted to inform you that is the ugliest coffee cup I have ever seen.” /1

Me: <<hold up cup, turns around>> “Did you see the other side? It’s impossibly ugly from every angle.”

Visibly confused navy doctor walks on. Stops. Comes back.

“But you know that it’s horrible.”

Me: <<drinks slowly from gawdy cup>> “Yes, that’s actually the point of it.”/2

So confused. “But it’s really terrible.”

Me: “Did you see the font? That might be the worst part.” /3

“I don’t understand.”

“I think you’re overthinking it. Besides these pineapple sunglasses 🍍 🕶 have a lot going for them.” /4

“No one would wear those.”

“My colorblind father who dresses primarily in Hawaiian shirts would absolutely wear them while drinking beer out of this cup.”

Gets closer. “Is it photos or a drawing?! It’s so confusing.”

“Yes it is an absolute abuse of mixed media art forms.” /5

Audible thinking wheels turning in head. “I mean it would be better if the sunglasses were mirrors, instead of just the steel.”

Me: “yeah, that would be better.”

“Ok ma’am, you have a great day with that monstrosity.” Walks off. /6