Thread by @dreamwisp

LRT: I’ve spoken about this before a bit, but let’s talk about my engagement ring, and why it was arguably the most important $20 I spent last year. (Thread.)

Fairly early on in the pandemic, like most disabled people, I recognized the increased danger that I was in, not just from the virus, but from ableism. 80% of doctors believe disabled people have a lower quality of life.

I locked down before almost anyone I know, I took every precaution I knew – – I already had masks because I wore them prior to the pandemic. But as soon as I saw what was happening at hospitals, that’s when I panicked.

I am, by almost all standards, extraordinarily privileged. My family can help in an emergency, I’m white, I’m college-educated, I’ve been employed since I was 14, etc.

But the moment someone sees my cane, my wheelchair, or my medical records, there is an immediate shift in the value they assign my life. Were I a member of any other marginalized group, this would be amplified substantially.

Before rationing was even a conversation that most people were aware of, all of the disability groups I belong to were talking about it. People were preparing for it. Looking at laws, assembling emergency kits.

My emergency kit, should I need to go to the hospital, included medical records, contact information for my family, legal documents about anti-discrimination and advocacy, contact info for disabled support orgs, and this ring.

In our groups, there was a suggestion that any unmarried women or femme people have a fake engagement ring, regardless of relationship status, because at a glance, someone will recognize that your life has meaning to another person.

When they are making split-second, life and death decisions, particularly before anti-discrimination guidance was regularly distributed, that could mean the difference between getting a ventilator and not for a disabled person.

Having your humanity recognized, your right to live recognized, only because of your relationship to another person.

For reference, Michael Hickson, a Black man in Texas with a wife and 4 children, was starved to death and denied a ventilator bc the doctors decided he had no quality of life due to his disability. You can hear the conversation here (CW: lethal ableism): npr.org/2020/07/31/896…

Medical racism is certainly a factor, as well, and this time was even scarier for disabled BIPOC folks.

I know of five people, off the top of my head, who bought rings. I have several friends who half-joked about bringing photos of them, awards, paychecks, etc., just in case. Anything to convince medical staff that we deserved an equal chance at survival.

There’s so much more to this conversation, but it sickens me to my core that we are rationing again, and that quite a few disabled people are pulling their rings back out of storage to have them ready, just in case, in hopes of having their lives seen as worthy, yet again.

So if I’m angry when I see people going to parties, the movies, taking photos without their masks, eating indoors at restaurants, not understanding that even with the vaccine, you’re not immune and can still transmit it, think about that ring, and hopefully you’ll understand why.

One final addition: this is a really great summary of a lot of what’s happening:

https://twitter.com/scifri/status/1436400080307859456