Thread by @RexHuppke

1/ Hello everyone, and welcome to this meeting of the Florida GOP Committee on Health Policy. We're meeting today in this parking lot behind a Hooter's because Dale, our treasurer, died of COVID-19 last night and he had sole access to the accounts, so we couldn't rent out...

2/ ...our usual conference room space in the Best Western. Apologies for any inconvenience and thoughts and prayers to Dale's family members who have not also died of COVID-19.

My name is Tad Horkington, and I'm honored to have been named president of the committee following...

3/ ...the tragic death of Thomas Bilgenut, the interim president who last week died of COVID-19. Tom had, of course, replaced Hugh Frank, our previous president who died two weeks ago of COVID-19, along with his entire family and the youth football team he coached.

4/ We will not read minutes from last month's meeting, as our committee secretary, Henry Sanford is presently hospitalized with COVID-19. We wish him and his loved ones well, send our thoughts and prayers and commend his courageous work on the "MASKS ARE TYRANNY!" float...

5/ ...that appeared in the Labor Day parade in Vero Beach. Hopefully we can honor Henry and his team at our next meeting, assuming they are all off their ventilators or out of quarantine.

6/ Getting to business, we need to sign off on the anti-vaccine-mandate statement that was put together by Belinda Thompson prior to her death from COVID-19. Thoughts and prayers to Belinda's family, all of whom were infected by Belinda at the vaccine protest she organized...

7/ ...in a sealed tent outside the Granada Plaza Publix in Dunedin. The statement, which Belinda composed using her iPhone's voice dictation feature, reads: "The Florida GOP Committee on Health Policy hereby denounces Sleepy Joe Biden's TYRANNICAL attempt to COUGH mandate...

8/ ...vaccines for anyone COUGH anywhere or at any COUGH time. We encourage all righteous COUGH Americans to stand up against this COUGH COUGH COUGH unlawful government overreach." I would propose we vote to approve that statement, but unfortunately, due to COVID-19 illnesses...

9/ ...we do not have a quorum and, in fact, I am the only person in attendance today, and even I barely made it as I'm feeling a little under the weather. Jan Dodson, who is the only committee officer allowed to change the rules on voting, is unfortunately visiting her husband...

10/ ...Zeke who is in Tampa General Hospital's COVID ward. They won't let her in because she patriotically refuses to wear a mask, so kudos to Jan for standing in the parking lot holding a sign that reads "STAY STRONG, ZEKE AND DON'T LET THEM MICROCHIP YOU!!"

11/ COUGH! Excuse me. I'm sure it's just a cold. I will now conclude this meeting of the Florida GOP Committee on Health Policy. COUGH! I feel a bit feverish, so I'm going to go into the Hooter's without a mask and get a beer and some wings. God bless America. END

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