pharmacist jc has Seen Things, but could never have predicted The lwj, inquiring if they had any larger condoms than the XXXXL size.
jc cringes even later as he scrolls through his phone & sees his brother has posted “hanging out with lz tonight!! 😘”
Then he Realises.
jc cringes even later as he scrolls through his phone & sees his brother has posted “hanging out with lz tonight!! 😘”
Then he Realises.
He storms over to lwjs home, nearly breaking down the door.
“LAN WANGJI!!” He screams, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY BROTHER??”
“LAN WANGJI!!” He screams, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY BROTHER??”
There is a bang, then a muffled curse.
jc recognises his brothers voice, and his eyes narrow in suspicion. He is two seconds away from calling his sister for backup when the door opens.
It’s lwj
jc recognises his brothers voice, and his eyes narrow in suspicion. He is two seconds away from calling his sister for backup when the door opens.
It’s lwj
jc immediately goes into attack mode. He brandishes his weapon (a shoe. he has 1 wet foot) waving it threateningly
“You! Is my brother in there? I swear to god if you’ve been doing any funny business I’ll break your legs-“
“Didi?” wwx’s head pops out over lwj’s shoulder
“You! Is my brother in there? I swear to god if you’ve been doing any funny business I’ll break your legs-“
“Didi?” wwx’s head pops out over lwj’s shoulder
“Wei Wuxian!” jc barges forwards to grab his brother and pull him away.
Or at least, he tries to.
lwj may as well be a wall. jc feels like he’s talking to one most of the time anyway.
“Move out my way.” jc scowls, belatedly adding a “please”
Or at least, he tries to.
lwj may as well be a wall. jc feels like he’s talking to one most of the time anyway.
“Move out my way.” jc scowls, belatedly adding a “please”
lwj does the exact opposite. he moves more in the way.
“A-Cheng? Didi?” Distantly wwx’s voice sounds from behind lwj, and he pops his head through the gap between lwjs arm & body, grinning stupidly. “What brings you here A-Cheng, my lovely ray of sunshine”
“A-Cheng? Didi?” Distantly wwx’s voice sounds from behind lwj, and he pops his head through the gap between lwjs arm & body, grinning stupidly. “What brings you here A-Cheng, my lovely ray of sunshine”
jc bristles.
“I want to know what his deal is.” He glares, if possible, even harder at lwj.
Who is just staring at wwx. Hungrily.
jc feels sick
“I want to know what his deal is.” He glares, if possible, even harder at lwj.
Who is just staring at wwx. Hungrily.
jc feels sick
“Who, Lan Zhan?” Wwx frowns in confusion. “What about Lan Zhan?”
“He wants to sleep with you!”
“He wants to sleep with you!”
For some reason, this doesn’t get the intended effect.
wwx starts laughing so hard he nearly falls over.
“Is that true er-gege?” He gets out between cackles “do you desire my sweet, virginial body—“
“Wei Ying.”
wwx starts laughing so hard he nearly falls over.
“Is that true er-gege?” He gets out between cackles “do you desire my sweet, virginial body—“
“Wei Ying.”
“Just kidding, gege!” wwx wipes away his tears, levelling lwj with a look jc doesn’t want to understand. “If this is about what I sent lan zhan to buy this morning, it’s not for him!”
“Then what is it for.”
“Balloons.”
“…what.”
“Then what is it for.”
“Balloons.”
“…what.”
jc thinks he’s gonna have an aneurysm. Or throttle wwx. Whichever happens first.
“I genuinely can’t believe I have a brother as stupid as you.”
“Thanks, A-Cheng. I love you too.” Wwx leans in for a hug that jc reluctantly accepts, sighing.
“Besides, lz doesn’t use condoms-“
“I genuinely can’t believe I have a brother as stupid as you.”
“Thanks, A-Cheng. I love you too.” Wwx leans in for a hug that jc reluctantly accepts, sighing.
“Besides, lz doesn’t use condoms-“
Chaos.
jc lunges at lwj. lwj sidesteps calmly. jc crashes into the wall. wwx laughs so hard he topples over. lwj catches him. jc is still on the floor.
jc lunges at lwj. lwj sidesteps calmly. jc crashes into the wall. wwx laughs so hard he topples over. lwj catches him. jc is still on the floor.
jc leaves that day with a bruised ego and forehead, feeling like he knows more than he ever wanted to know about his brother
He swears he sees lwj smirk at him when he goes, the bastard. jc is gonna sell him laxatives next time he comes in his store, see if he’s still cool then
He swears he sees lwj smirk at him when he goes, the bastard. jc is gonna sell him laxatives next time he comes in his store, see if he’s still cool then
• • •
Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to
force a refresh
