My first job after college was a bit different than most Harvard graduates. I went to work for a small company called Life Mastery that taught personal growth seminars, taught by a charismatic leader named Rick Mercer. Here's what I learned over those 2 years:
Rick had previously owned a financial advisory firm where my parents had been clients. My folks were intrigued when Rick announced he was selling the firm and would start teaching seminars. They offered to send me to one of his programs (as a guinea pig :) while I was in college.
Life Mastery was similar to Tony Robbins, EST, LifeSpring and other personal growth seminars that were popular at that time. Like many college students, I was searching for deeper meaning in my life, and so I decided to give it a shot.
I had been one of those kids who looked good on the outside - high school president and valedictorian, soccer captain, Harvard student. Yet I was stressed, compulsive, always seeking external validation. Life Mastery opened my eyes, gave me a framework to process this disconnect.
When I returned home, I ended an unhealthy relationship, started reading Carl Jung & Joseph Campbell, and stopped caring so much about what other people thought of me. Prior to Life Mastery, I was on a path to apply to law school after college. Instead I went to work for Rick.
After 4 years in an ivory tower, I was suddenly helping facilitate seminars where participants explored their deepest fears, shared their most embarrassing and shameful secrets, laughed and cried in a room full of strangers. It was quite a change from the Harvard classroom!
Being vulnerable is a powerful experience. Most of us are wired to hide shame and weakness. It takes a shift in context to bring it out, a place where people feel authentically supported and genuinely safe from judgement. And when it comes out, it often comes pouring out.
I learned a lot about human connection as I witnessed hundreds of people bare their souls (including me). The best way to be safe for someone is to be vulnerable with them; how could I judge you after what I just told you about me? It's hard to internalize this by reading a book.
Rick created a safe space for participants by sharing his own story of being abandoned by his mother when he was 2 years old, left on the doorstep of a neighbor who raised him for food stamps. This was a powerful way to set context. He named the program "Sanctuary Experience."
A year after I joined Life Mastery, Rick asked me to manage the company. I was suddenly looking after the finances of a small business with 8 employees (including my future wife). Interestingly, I found myself enjoying my work in the office even more than attending the seminars.
Rick taught "the father must die for the son to live" and "if you see the buddha in the road, kill him." I eventually took this to heart and decided to leave Life Mastery to forge my own path in the world. I went to work for a bigger company; I was ready to start my career.
Allison and I were dating while we worked together at Life Mastery. I would have stayed longer if she hadn't encouraged us to leave. We had both learned a lot from Rick, but he was starting to become our guru rather than our teacher. She saw this more clearly than me.
The most important thing I've learned since then is that personal growth is a lifelong journey. There are no silver bullets, no such thing as "mastering life." I've tried to stay on the journey by taking risks, being vulnerable, having a beginner's mind. I'm just getting started.
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