Thread by @justinkan

Did people treat me differently after I sold @Twitch?

Absolutely.

Here's what $970,000,000 taught me about life, fake friends, and making new ones:

A common intuition about wealth and success is that it inevitably attracts a circle of predatory ‘fake friends’.

After we sold to Amazon in 2014, people saw me in a different way.

Success naturally draws people to you, and they start seeing you differently. Your status represents something to them.

Sometimes it is inspiration, but often it is opportunity.

A lot of other successful people that I know are wary of this, and actively distance themselves and are extremely guarded when meeting people.

I see opportunity as a two-way street.

I've had a lot of deep, robust friendships start off this way - where someone wanted to get to know me because of what I represented in terms of success.

Casual acquaintances can always turn into deeper friendships.

“A stranger is a friend you don’t know yet.” - @YesTheory (one of my favorite YT channels)

I've had several of my own friends say to me that people 'don't make new friends as adults.'

Why should this be the case?

Here are my actionable steps to making new friends as an adult, and identifying 'fake' versus 'real' friends:

1. Be Open - super important.

I used to be very paranoid about talking to new people in a very toxic way - I assumed that everyone out there who I didn't know was an enemy by default.

It is a terrible way to live, no matter how successful you are.

Every relationship is the opportunity to learn. Every person out there is interesting.

Keep an open-minded approach to everyone you meet as someone you could potentially learn something from; be it a successful billionaire, a stranger in a coffee shop, or your Uber driver.

What you learn might not be an immediate skill that someone can teach you, or actionable advice that solves all your deepest or most troubling problems.

You may not even speak the same language.

But the mindset is one of the most powerful things you can develop.

'Sonder' is a word that describes the feeling of realizing that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries

People have a lot more in common than you might think, and that’s a great place to start.

Finding the things that unite us is the most effective way to meet new people.

2. Be Helpful

Building meaningful relationships is all about knowing what the other person needs, and being there for them.

I am always thinking about how I can help other people - what do they need, what are they working on?

Being proactive goes a long way - fake friends reach out when they need something, real friends reach out when you need something.

This doesn’t mean you have to be a psychic and constantly put out fires before they arise.

It simply means that you care enough to recognize patterns/behaviors that might look like cries for help and doing your best to support the other person on their journey.

More importantly, helping others without expectation of a reward.

Hold out your hand for people out of kindness and a genuine place, even if you don't know them.

3. Be vulnerable.

Vulnerability. is. not. a. weakness.

In leadership and in friendships - when others see you being vulnerable in an authentic way, they trust you and feel closer to you.

For the first 10 years of my career I felt that I had to constantly represent #winning all the time, and it was exhausting to tell the truth.

When I started being honest with people it was a huge burden lifted off my shoulders.

When people asked me how I was, I actually told them how I felt instead of the standard 'I'm fine', or 'I'm crushing it!'

How to tell which of your friends are the closest and most genuine:

Are you willing to be vulnerable with them? It's all about how you feel around that person. Do they reciprocate vulnerability?

Do you genuinely want to spend time around this person?

Our minds have great instincts, listen to them.

Be respectful of your own time, and don’t waste it on people who make you unhappy.

But what if you want to fix a relationship with someone who is important to you?

The answer is authentic honesty.

If someone has done something to make you upset, address it head on ASAP and vice versa.

Be vulnerable about how you feel; real friends will understand and be willing to heal your relationship together, while fake friends will be defensive and give up entirely when convenient.

Be open-minded to connecting with new people, and be authentic in your approach. Fake friends are the people you leave behind as you discover who your real ones are.

I made a video about my thoughts on wealth, success, and friendships, check it out here: