Thread by @AzieDee

Looking at Gabby Petito’s IG, it struck me that she has no photos with anyone but him. There was one from a few years ago with her brother, but that is all. No friends, no family members. That indicates a lot to me.

Not to jump to conclusions but isolation is such a common tactic for mental/emotional/physical abusers. It happened to me at that age, and I’m very aware that her fate was nearly my own. It certainly is for many young women like her whose stories don’t get this attention.

Also, eff the articles coming out abt how travel puts an “extra strain” on relationships. Millions of couples take road trips together and don’t end up missing or murdered.

Lemme find out y’all wanna excuse homicidal white boys so bad you will blame vans and National Parks. 😒

Welp, there it is.

https://twitter.com/jdunstan/status/1439838309417693184

And y’all know good and well if her fiancé had been Black, they would have found a reason to arrest him and make him talk.

But, no, it’s the van’s fault cause traveling is hard. 🙄

This society is gross.

‘Van Life’ Tensions Can Put Strain on Couples

Here’s the thing that happens when you’re with an abuser.

Absolutely everyone has ups and downs. If you love someone, you are supposed to love them at their worst and forgive them. It’s what you would hope and expect them to do for you too.

What’s confusing abt abusers is their downs aren’t normal downs. But you begin to accept them as if they are. Stressors that wld upset anyone - travel, money problems, grief, arguments - can create dangerous blowups and you find yourself excusing abusive behavior as a “bad day”

But the even more seductive thing is the extremes of the “bad days” makes the good days (which are mostly normal days) feel even better. Like wow, we got through an entire week where I didn’t have to walk on eggshells and we even laughed spent time w friends! THIS GUY IS AMAZING.

Like literally this your standard feeling w everyone else pretty much all the time, and you don’t find it exceptional. But with them, normal is *Cloud Nine*.

Which means when times are very good, the dopamine rush is like THIS IS THE PERSON OF MY DREAMS. Shoot him into my veins!

And they also do this sneaky thing where they equate your normal “bad days” and challenging personality traits - which again, we all have and we all hope the people who love us can forgive - with their abusive behavior. “Sure I get mad, but so do you. You hurt me too.”

And heaven forbid you give a reasonable response to their outrageous provocation, like defending yourself or making a clear boundary, or even overstepping because you are fed up. They will use that against you and suddenly everything is your fault or “your fault too”.

The minute you try to leave here comes the smothering of love, the guilt - “it takes two to wanna work things out, you just don’t want to”, and the insistence that you are causing *them* unbearable pain. So the good days begin again… and don’t we all want those? 🎢

Not all abuse is physical. And it certainly does not start that way. Also, physical abuse can include threats, punching walls, throwing/breaking objects, and any other physically intimidating behavior.

But according to this 9-11 calls he was hitting her.
apple.news/ACXI8RMoaTw-Fl…