Thread by @AutSciPerson

Last night was the first night in a week (or maybe 2 weeks?) that I didn't wake up between 4-6am.

I finally feel mediocrely rested ("rested" for me, someone with a sleep disorder),

& my first thought upon waking up was "Oh I have enough energy, I should work today."

1/10

Then I remembered the last few days, the thread I wrote.

And I think if I go back to work mode right now, I'm not going to sustain myself for the rest of the week.

The sooner I start, the sooner I'm going to crash.

So I've decided to maybe not immediately do that.

2/10

I think autistic people often play the role of "useful" to create relationships, to obtain any ounce of support or understanding.

It's natural for us to want to go back to being as useful as possible because that's the only way the world ever wants to interact with us.

3/10

Our world doesn't support "needy" autistic people, burnt out autistic people, non-special-skills autistic people.

People only care if you show your usefulness. We're so used to operating this way, we don't even think twice about it.

4/10

It's the default for most disabled people, but I think for autistic people, usefulness means connections with others (usually non-autistic people).

Usefulness means we won't be isolated. It means having friends, having external approval from parents, bosses, mentors.

5/10

I think there is a fear that if we cease being useful, no one will love us or support us or even just care about us.

We have constantly changed ourselves so that other people don't react negatively, don't find us rude or mean or argumentative or know-it-alls or uptight.

6/10

To cease being useful is to face that fear and know that some of our relationships may crumble because of it. That people might see us as selfish, that they won't care when we don't have something to offer anymore. When we don't play therapist or go the extra mile at work.

7/10

Autistic people:

I will still care about your well-being even if you can't work.
I will still care about you even if you can't do what you have defined your identity around.
I will still care about you even if you don't feel useful.

8/10

I will still care about you even if you have nothing to contribute.
I will still care about you even if you can't do advocacy or can't "stand up for yourself" like so many people may tell you to do.

I will still care.
I hope that others will still care too.

9/10

You are not useless.
Human beings who have limitations are not useless.
Human beings who cannot "produce" or cannot "work" are not useless.

Everyone deserves to be supported and cared for.
Even you.

10/10

https://twitter.com/AutSciPerson/status/1442229893799022594?s=20