So, today, I finally had that dreaded talk with my 12-year-old that most fathers don't really want to have. I had to. He cornered me and asked questions I couldn't avoid.
Today, my son and I had an earnest, honest and difficult conversation about how fucking insane religion is.
Today, my son and I had an earnest, honest and difficult conversation about how fucking insane religion is.
We have talked about how Christians have a cannibalistic ritual during which they imagine they are consuming a 2000-year-old corpse, and how weird, creepy and nonsensical all of it is.
How none of them can ever satisfactorily explain how and why it happens or why it's not bonkers
How none of them can ever satisfactorily explain how and why it happens or why it's not bonkers
We have talked about how Jews have interpreted an ancient and weirdly specific prohibition on boiling a goat in his mother's milk as a law against keeping meat and dairy in the same fridge, because who the fuck even knows, this is how insane it is...
Furthermore (because I am annoyed at my people and their OCD religion), we talked about how some Jews believe that putting up string on telephone poles can fool god into thinking you're actually at home while you're clearly outside.
Nobody understand how this works, but 🤷♂️
Nobody understand how this works, but 🤷♂️
We talked about the Trinity, and how the Christs are the most inbred family in history, because Jesus is his own dad or something, yet another thing that nobody has ever bothered to satisfactorily explain, not that it's possible...
We didn't get into Islam's very creepy relationship with virginity, especially in regards to the heavenly reward for people who commit mass murder.
He is only 12, that wouldn't be appropriate.
So I told him about how god murdered 42 children with bears because they made a joke.
He is only 12, that wouldn't be appropriate.
So I told him about how god murdered 42 children with bears because they made a joke.
Then he asked me what is the difference between Presbyterians and Methodists, and I told him that I could probably explain, but since about 0% of either group know or care about it, there is no point.
It was a good talk.
I hope your day was also fun.
It was a good talk.
I hope your day was also fun.
PS. And you know there must have been a crazy Jewish shepherd thousands of years ago, let's call him Crazy Jeff, who'd just constantly boil goats in their mothers' milk. They'd all be like, "If Jeff boiling a goat in its mom's milk again? Fuck him! Why? Someone oughtta ban it!"
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