Ever seen one of these emotions charts? These guides are meant to teach people what emotions are. Except, as an autistic person, I could never relate. 
I spent hours staring at these emotions charts. I memorized and copied them. I thought emotions were something to mimic. A set of vocabulary I needed to burn into my mind.
Then, I learned a word for my experience that is often used to describe autistics: Alexithymia.
Then, I learned a word for my experience that is often used to describe autistics: Alexithymia.
At first, alexithymia, or the inability to recognize my emotions in myself or others, felt like good way to describe my autistic experiences. Until I started taking off the mask.
I reclaimed stimming. I reclaimed echolalia. I reclaimed my authentic facial expressions.
I reclaimed stimming. I reclaimed echolalia. I reclaimed my authentic facial expressions.
Alexithymia is real, but for me, it was a mislabel. It's not that I can't recognize my emotions but that I mistaught my emotions. I was always taught allistic emotional expression.
As I reclaim my personal autistic emotional expressions, I can better recognize the emotions of others. I bounce when I'm happy. That is the same feeling that others might express by smiling.
I have a frame of reference now, and it's made all the difference.
I have a frame of reference now, and it's made all the difference.
What might my emotional journey have looked like if stimming, echolalia, and autistic expressions of feelings had been shown to me in picture books, classroom songs, and feelings charts? Inclusive education is essential for autistics.
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