Thread by @DisInHigherEd

Thank you all for holding space and sharing your stories. We are not alone in the trauma that we have dealt with, the impacts are not just on our academic career - it could be emotional too. My self esteem has been low & it stays there, all of the ableism almost confirms
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[QT]

https://twitter.com/disinhighered/status/1445458700689309708

not having as much value, maybe I deserved it, and I could be at blame since I am the common denominator in all the abuse. It is like being who I am is not okay and that is not okay. This society is toxic to exist as a disabled person compounding onto whatever we each manage 2/

every day for our health. I am the one who will go out of my way to support others and I have. I am CEO and co-founder here, I am a founder of @JADEdisjustice, a board member with @HealthAdvocateX, a social media manager for @academicvoices, co-founder of @dismhmatters, and

Communications Student Co-Chair with @APHADisability. I love what I do as a disability advocate, I just have never loved myself. My mom rides into me like weight is my number one issue and I just feel fat shamed. I have lived my life in being harsh and critical to myself while
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unconditionally kind to others. I was raised through the first 34 years of my life with a father that would tell me that I am not good enough, criticized not finishing school fast enough, and asking when I would ever do anything in my life. He is now dead to me out of self
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preservation. I find that I am in a place where I am willing to be honest with myself and to process through my own traumas to maybe get to a place where I like myself. I am the common denominator in my traumas in the medical office, psych units, and parents because of
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the way that disability is perceived in this society. Even in DEI communities, I feel like disability is given whatever resources or energy is left after focusing on the Underrepresented communities that they are proud of. It is like #Academia wants to hide #Disabled people
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when its treatment of Disabled people can make existing conditions worse & lower our quality of life. The access fatigue of always needing to ask for accommodations leads to moments where I condone inaccessibility when I need support. We don’t talk about disability, so parents
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have never really thought of disability as something to be proud of, that exists on a spectrum and even we may still be learning what disability identity means to us. It doesn’t condone fat shaming or blaming me for not getting through higher education faster. Maybe if
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I knew all the way back in 2002 that accommodations existed for #Schizophrenia and it was a disability, I would have gotten the support I needed to not have to take a 10 year break from academia. Later in 2011, the voices resolved and I live with #BPD. The stigma that
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mental illness holds can really change everything and I think that it is critical to realize where our control is. The fact that I haven’t eaten today is in my control, after I post this I am getting lunch LOL. What isn’t in my control, your control, or anyone’s control is
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the way an ableist society has trained us all about disability. Some of us have learned what disability is through experience, others are allies that are amazing, but there is always going to be a large group of people with fixed ideas about disability to be changed or that
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are unwilling to change. The medical trauma is caused by a field that is openly ableist towards @Disabled_Docs. The inpatient trauma in psychiatric unit is caused a field that is openly ableist towards @DisabledInPsych students especially with mental illness. These fields are 13/

slowly changing with disability advocates, but our health care system is broken. Just like hurt people hurt people, broken systems break those depending on the system. I graduated from @UCSanDiego and bought the extension of @UofCAHealth Student Health Insurance, but
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during my time at @UCSanDiego the @UCSDHealth system stopped taking Medi-cal. I don’t know what happens to my insurance after January and I cannot change doctors. I want to maintain my providers, so I have to buy a plan that will cover them. I feel like new providers are
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unsafe because every trauma I have had involved a new provider that I didn’t trust. #DisabilityTwitter, we deserve better and our trauma has never been our fault. @PublicHealth should be fully accessible and culturally aware of disability, not just @APHADisability.

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