Thread by @HollowAvenger

It's Hollow Time! So to celebrate here is the first half of a mega thread exploring our favorite Master-Servant duo and how their arcs parallel each other:

Part 1: "The Contradiction of Desires"

I don't think I speak only for myself when I say that Bazett and Angra, along with their relationship are the core of Hollow Ataraxia, and without a doubt one of the best aspects of it, and I want to break down why I think their story is so compelling.

Before we get to the deeper aspects, I think their dynamic's most immediate appeal is how polar opposite their personalities are, you have Bazett who is almost machine-like, constantly serious and wears an armor around herself to hide her insecurities.

Then you have Angra who doesn't take anything seriously, and doesn't hold back anything even if it makes the other person uncomfortable, their personalities are as conflicting as can be, but it doesn't just stop there.

Even past their shallow exteriors, looking at their origins makes it clear just how incomparable they are, Angra has an incomprehensibly dark background, one that is special even among Heroic Spirits. He is as detached from humanity and individuality as one can be.

Meanwhile Bazett is very much an ordinary human, one who is part of the Magic Association but as far as the Nasuverse is concerned that hardly makes her a special person.

I'm pointing all these differences out because I believe that it is because they are so vastly dissimilar that what they do share in common stands out, and it's precisely that which makes their relationship and its resolution so powerful to me.

So what is this aspect they share in common? The title of the thread kinda gives it away, but it's basically the fact that throughout Hollow Ataraxia, these two are in a constant dilemma as a result of having two desires that are in conflict with one another.

And this dilemma is what makes the endless loop so hard to break from, both Bazett and Angra want to break free from it, and yet at the same time they both want it to keep going, despite not even realizing that themselves.

I've already discussed Angra's conflict in detail in other threads so I'll just summarize it here, on the one hand we have the side of Angra who wants to keep the loop going because it allows him to experience the happy life he was robbed off.

And on the other hand there is the side of him that wants to end it, in part because he became Shirou and that is just what Emiya Shirou would do, and in part because he wants to create meaning in his existence by saving Bazett.

The loop will come to an end regardless of which of these two desires win, the problem is that he wasn't able to choose one for most of the story. Bazett's case parallels that in a very interesting way.

She, just like Angra, tries to break the loop, since she wants to win the Holy Grail War, and yet deep down she also wants it to keep going. We have to take a much deeper look at her character. What kind of person is she? And why does it lead her to have such conflicting desires?

We have to start from her origin, and the thing about Bazett is... her origin isn't particularly interesting, she comes from a family with a powerful history but no relevancy in modern society, and it is very apparent that she has a disposable position in the Mage Association.

Bazett is ordinary... so ordinary that it hurts. Despite not having a bad life by any means, Bazett struggles to find any happiness or meaning in life, or rather it's more accurate to say that she's not satisfied... something is missing.

There's a clear lack of self-worth here reflected in how she sees herself as disposable, a meaningless existence. And a clear desire for something more than that, to be a part of something greater than who she is.

Angra talks about love, and how it is the strongest motivation possible for a human, and I think this ties in with the desire of becoming a part of something bigger than oneself, and we can tell that Bazett is desperate for this through how she connects with the 3 men in her life

The first of which is the one thing that brought joy to Bazett in her childhood, the one thing that she didn't look at as a "job". That's right, I'm talking about the legend of Cu Chulainn.

Fiction has a strange power over us, sometimes it resonates with us because we see parts of ourselves in it, but sometimes... sometimes it resonates with us because of elements that we wish were a part of us. That is the relationship between Bazett and Cu.

Unlike Bazett, Cu is anything but ordinary, he is a hero of legend, the son of a god, his life is full of ironic tragedies and legendary moments, significant relationships both with allies and enemies. Bazett was invested in Cu, very much like how we get invested in our favorites

Even more so, she wanted to "save" him. But I think the truth is that Bazett wanted to be saved. By dedicating herself to this amazing person's story and becoming a part of it, she is no longer ordinary, dull, disposable Bazett. She wanted to find meaning in her life beyond that

But it doesn't just stop with Cu, there is another. When talkin about bizarre and unordinary people in the Fate universe, Kotomine Kirei is among the fastest ones to come to mind, as his worldview is something that he shares with no other person, at least not any that he knows of

And guess what? Bazett fell in love with this guy, and I think the same logic applies here, Bazett met a person who is very special, a person who has defined their own purpose and meaning in life, and she wanted to be a part of that, she thought she could "fix him".

But the truth is that Kirei didn't care about her at all, he knew she had feelings for him, and took advantage of that to manipulate her.

And so she was betrayed, in one swift motion she had lost the two things that she cared about most, and all that was waiting for her was death. So of course she couldn't accept it now.

With no memory of that, she ends up making the same mistake with Angra, she pities him and starts to think that maybe she will be the one to finally save him from his suffering, all three cases show Bazett's true nature, it isn't about saving them, it's about being their savior.

Because it is not just death that she is trying to run away from, it is the realization that she wants to be more than just the weak, dull human she is, she wants to change so desperately but... not changing is so much easier and far less scarier.

Once Bazett remembers everything, her attitude shifts massively, she goes from wanting to "win" the Holy Grail War and going past the 4 days, to wanting to repeat them infinitely, but it's not cut and dry, both of them are true desires of hers.

So after this long derailment we come back to the main topic here, this strange contradiction between two true desires, as Angra points out to Rider in her own dilemma, this isn't a bad thing, that's just part of being human, it is in fact monsters and beasts who have no doubt.

He argues that when it comes to doing the right thing, it is in fact that very opposing desire that makes humans all the more beautiful. And this is where we come to the climax of the story.

Bazett already knew this was right thing all along, she just didn't want to admit it, and she was scared because well, life is scary, and after being betrayed so harshly, she really thinks there is nothing worth going back to in the real world.

Why does Bazett let Angra end the loops?

I think it's simply seeing Angra overcome his own much stronger opposing desire that was the final nail in the coffin. Bazett can no longer use her weakness as an excuse in front of Angra's final choice.

But there is more to it than just that, Part 2 will focus on the very reason why Angra and Bazett had such contradicting desires in the first place, and it's something that is rooted in all of us; the fear of death.

I'll be posting it on the 11th, so see you then!

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