cicer Profile picture
10 Oct, 7 tweets, 2 min read
I am once again thinking how post-canon WWX probably gets insulted on a semi-regular basis by people who have Beef with the YLLZ, and he's just like, "Okay. 👍"

Except it's not okay, because LWJ turns into a feral cat (hissing and clawing included) when his husband is insulted.
Imagine being the guy who just worked up the nerve to confront the YLLZ for all his hideous and notorious crimes. You're wondering if he'll smite you on the spot. If he'll have you ripped to shreds by fierce corpses.

But no matter!! You MUST speak!
Except the YLLZ just lets out a loooooong sigh. And he reaches out and catches the back of HGJ's robes.

HGJ, who just materialized from NOWHERE. HGJ, who is now trying to claw your face off.
Imagine watching the YLLZ casually hook his hands under HGJ's armpits and drag him away, saying things like, "Now, now, Lan Zhan. He only wanted to scold me a little. It's not so bad. No, you CAN'T beat him up. Do you want a snack? Let's go have a snack!"
LWJ: ...My husband has been insulted. I cannot tolerate such disrespect for my beloved. This Means War.

WWX, fondly:
LWJ: *eating his bao angrily*

WWX, pinching his cheeks: Ah, good boy. Good boy. Do you feel better? No? You're still upset? Do you want to go pat the bunnies?

LWJ: *sulky nod*

Random cultivator who started all this:
Imagine thinking that you're gonna do it. You're gonna CONFRONT the infamous YLLZ!

And instead the YLLZ merely looks at you with weary tolerance, rescues you from being murdered by HGJ, and then gives you a front row seat to their cutesy marriage. 🙃

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More from @cicerfics

9 Oct
I really want a reincarnation AU where wangxian lock eyes in a Starbucks, and their memories of their past life suddenly flood back, and they IMMEDIATELY start making out and then rush directly to the courthouse to get married.
Does this fic exist? I feel like this fic should exist already. If anyone knows of something like this, please link me. 🤲
I'm gonna be honest: I just want a situation where LXC is calling his brother, because Wangji was supposed to pick up some drinks and then join LXC at his apartment.
Read 4 tweets
8 Oct
I like to imagine post-canon wangxian going shopping together. Specifically, I like to imagine LWJ examining something, and asking how much it costs.

...It USUALLY costs one (1) copper coin, but the merchant takes a look at LWJ's silk robes and says, "Three silver pieces. :)"
LWJ is just like, "Yes, that seems reasonable" and pulls out his money pouch.

And he's IMMEDIATELY tackled by his husband, who wrestles the money pouch away and loudly scolds the merchant.
How dare you take advantage of this poor helpless Hanguang-Jun who doesn't know what things are supposed to cost! Shameless! You're a disgrace to your family!!
Read 4 tweets
8 Oct
One li'l quick thought, for both LXC's birthday and #BabyLWJSeason:

I think, when he was too young to know any better, baby!LWJ glommed some of the attention on LXC's birthday. I think he didn't understand why his brother was getting presents, but not him.
I think he tried to stick his pudgy little fingers straight into the cake frosting, before his brother even had a chance to blow out the candles. He got upset when he was told he couldn't lick that beautiful and alluring frosting rosette.

LXC humored him, of course.
He happily shared his birthday until LWJ was about 5-6, and old enough to understand that it was Xiongzhang's Special Day.

After that, to make up for the birthday-theft he committed as a child, LWJ became EXTREMELY protective of his brother's birthday.
Read 7 tweets
7 Oct
"Yeah, I like plants a normal amount", says local woman who just repotted all her houseplants and realized she has accumulated twenty-three.
The headline to this article would read, "SHAMELESS HUSSY CONTINUES TO DENY HOUSEPLANT ADDICTION."

Pull quote: "Tearful family members state that their home has transformed into a jungle."
"Family and friends attest that the woman uses their homes in order to support her addiction.

'It's getting a little crazy,' the woman's father remarked. 'There's a plant on my nightstand, a plant on the toilet tank, a plant hanging in the shower. I mean, when will it end?'"
Read 5 tweets
7 Oct
Yep. This is why I really, really hate using the term "content creator" to describe someone who writes fics or draws fanart.

It's such a sterile, corporate term! It makes me think of the marketing department of a major company, churning out carefully curated social media posts!
I never, ever think of what I do as "creating content". I just write, as a hobby. I share my work in the hopes that someone else might enjoy my stuff. I am not a marketing intern "generating content" for an audience, just a hobbyist inviting other people to share in the fun.
It is VERY strange and disorienting to see fandom shift from viewing writers/artists as "fellow fans" to "content creators". And unfortunately, this shift does seem to be resulting in a new attitude of entitlement that I really do not like.
Read 4 tweets
6 Oct
Nope, sorry. Still thinking about Pregji-as-Chief-Cultivator.

I think he does a LOT of strange pregnancy-related things, and people just assume it has something to do with Official HGJ Business??

Like, he gets a weird look on his face in the middle of a meeting.
Without a word, he gets up and rushes out of the room.

People are like, "Wow, our Chief Cultivators has sensed that something is amiss. Wonder what it is. Are the wards of Cloud Recesses damaged? Is an attack imminent? What does he Know? 🤔"
...He actually just got a sudden craving for egg tarts, so he's waddling furiously toward the kitchens.
Read 9 tweets

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