He was just an ordinary conservative, reading his Bible and his Ronald Reagan devotional, when the woke mob broke into his gated community. "Up against the wall!" Yelled the nonbinary crowd. From across the highway he heard screams. The Latinx Lesbians had struck.
https://twitter.com/GaryLegum/status/1449765804820553729
Soon chants rose from all the buildings around him. "White guilt, white guilt," they screamed as copies of the 1619 Project were jammed into their ears.
A trumpet sounded, signifying the beginning of yet another MAGA hat bonfire.
Everything was dying. The Wokening was nigh.
A trumpet sounded, signifying the beginning of yet another MAGA hat bonfire.
Everything was dying. The Wokening was nigh.
Henry turned on his TV expecting to see Tucker Carlson, but the signal had been hijacked. Instead the Wokeristas were forcing every household to watch Maddow and Fauci discuss gender reassignment and climate science. All non-woke materials had been banished. Fox was a crater.
Linda couldn't believe it. It had been just 12 hours since Biden's handlers had him sign The Woke Protocols and already ever American flag had been replaced with the hammer and sickle. All Confederate statues were down, and replaced by RuPaul. "My country," she sobbed.
"Join me in the underground," Ted Cruz whispered, his hand outstretched, his ramshackle van packed with yellowing copies of printouts from Infowars. "Follow me to freedom."
The state-installed speakers blared "Its Raining Men," and Mildred's mind was made up for her.
The state-installed speakers blared "Its Raining Men," and Mildred's mind was made up for her.
"The Federalist Papers? This is contraband," the Woketrooper yelled, herding Chris into the carbon neutral van with the other capitalist thought criminals. The hypnotic audio of Economic Minister Bernie Sanders started up again.
"You will be woke," it began. "Always... woke."
"You will be woke," it began. "Always... woke."
"Weve rounded up 10,000 enemies of Wokeopolis, my liege," the Wokecommandant reported, giving a firm salute to the statue of Saul Alinsky that dominated the throne room of Woke Regional Commander AOC.
"Good, good. Give them the Green Death Deal as we did the others."
"Good, good. Give them the Green Death Deal as we did the others."
First Woke Kamala Harris looked right and up to Most Woke Emperor Biden atop the throne composed of Limbaugh's Bones.
"Sire, are they not woke enough?"
Biden flashed his pearly whites. "They're not even half woke yet," he replied. "Not even half woke."
"Sire, are they not woke enough?"
Biden flashed his pearly whites. "They're not even half woke yet," he replied. "Not even half woke."
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