Thread by @AdamRutherford

Because I have written about the Great Gatsby and because I love it, I thought I’d finally give the recent film a crack.

I think it might be the single shittest thing I’ve ever seen, and resembles the book in the same way that vomitus resembles a delicious meal.

It’s as if it’s been written by someone who overheard someone talking about the book, and then tried to write it down whilst coked off their balls.

I am transfixed by its shitness. Paralysed by turditude. The inexhaustible variety of manballs.

Promethean. Meaning about the same standard as Prometheus (2012).

It’s the Room made with a mega budget. The acting is on a par with Tommy Wiseau, and the editing, oh boy, like Nutribulleting one’s own face.

Toney Maguire a befuddled blobfish enjoying sneaking a fart out.

And so we beat on boats against the current, but I’ve run out of bourbon.