Thread by @GbengaWemimo

This lady chatted me up on Twitter, she has been separated from her husband for two years and their divorce was about to become final
In the early days of their separation and disagreements, she was so convinced she wouldn’t ever marry her husband again that refused all forms of

Intervention from family and the church
She was meticulous in her life exit, so meticulous that her husband didn’t know she had rented an apartment & stylishly packed all her stuff and the children’s stuff and also hired new nannies and all in secret
It was an inter-tribal union

The marriage had produced two boys
Both boys were born in America and she had two sets of birth certificate for them
The originals bore her maiden name as the surname for the children while the one she gave her husband had his name as the surname
She said she really didn’t want

to get married
She didn’t want not to get married too
It was an experience she felt she could try out and see if it would be good for her or not
After five years, she felt it wasn’t worth it and started executing her exit strategy
One day her husband got home from the office and

she was gone
Of course her husband felt cheated and raised a lot of hell
These were his children, his spawns with whom he had developed a bond and expended a lot of emotional currency
He couldn’t just pretend they didn’t exist
He went to the Lagos state dispute resolution office

He got his lawyer
He was all out for war after every attempt to get her to be reasonable had been exhausted
She was ready for war too and had recorded every argument and disagreement they ever had on phone without his knowledge
She had their WhatsApp chat records too
She was set

for the battle and she had evidence that he was not a good husband and would be a poor parent to their children
She said she didn’t need any support from him, so he should go and marry another wife and leave her with the children
The dispute resolution body insisted she had to

meet with him somewhere with the children twice a month even while they were still separated and when the divorce was final the judge will determine the fate of the children
They started doing that
Meeting twice a week so that the husband can spend some time with his sons.
One

weekend, towards the end of their separation period, her husband showed up with another lady
He was careful to arrive early and to keep the lady in a part of the mall while he met with his children
When they were done, she noticed that he didn’t exit the mall as usual and thought

he had some shopping to do.
She went to the cinema with the children and saw him briefly with this other lady at a shawarma and pastries shop
The image she saw was the reason she lost her peace
He was happy
She saw him chatting and laughing and looking so relaxed while she had

to deal with work, two children and their demands
It suddenly didn’t seem fair to her
That he could just move on and somehow develop another level of emotional attachment far away from her and the children
Suddenly she didn’t want the divorce again
She wanted her husband back!

But she didn’t know how to go about this because she had damned both his family and hers and yes, the church too
None of their friends who reached out to her earlier got a listening ear
She needed a negotiator, someone neutral who would help her broker peace
So she reached out to

me.
We chatted in online for a few days and I decided to meet with her in my office
We got talking
She told me he was mentally and emotionally abusing her
She told me how she left
She told me she didn’t want the divorce again because God said he hated putting away!
It was well

planned
After delivering her message, she stood up to leave
I called her name and said “Is there anything else you wish to tell me before I get involved in this? Any secret? Any lies? Any skeletons in your cupboard?
She looked at me and shook her head, made turn around and walk

out when she suddenly stumbled as if someone pushed her and crashed against the door
I quickly stood up to help her but I found myself frozen to my seat
She pulled herself up, looked at me and said “I have had two abortions since I left him. The first was his baby! I had planned

to leave that month and the pregnancy was a problem. How do I convince the court we have not been having sex for two years according to my statement if I was pregnant, so I took care of it”
I just kept starring at her
“The second, she said, was a few weeks ago. I had been seeing

a guy in secret and we made out. I discovered I was pregnant and i didn’t know what to do because of all these stuff that I am facing at the moment. The pregnancy would mean I wouldn’t have my husband back and the guy I was seeing wasn’t prepared to marry me. It was just a fling!

So I got rid of it.
I am so sorry, Lord, I am so sorry!”
She wasn’t addressing me as Lord, she was talking to the Lord Jesus and the Holy Spirit.
I had no idea, no IDEA whatsoever that she didn’t tell me the whole truth and I dare not claim I knew!
I gave her something to clean

her face
When she had settled down, I said “If your husband takes you back, do you think you love him enough as it is to see the marriage through?
It seem to me like you don’t really know what you want yet and I feel you should take some time to process this thoroughly.
She shook

her head and said “Once the divorce is final, I will never have the chance to get him back. I don’t mind waiting but he will just move on with that other lady and he will no longer be an option. I don’t want that.
I can wait if he is waiting too. I love him
Please help me sir!

I called the husband and we spoke for hours
I didn’t say anything about the divorce
He is also on Twitter and happened to be someone who love my work
I didn’t even tell him I had talked with his wife
Three weeks later the divorce was final.
This lady cried and cried and cried!

I told her to take it easy.
That marriage needed to end. The secrets and intentions were not good for the both of them going forward.
If she really wanted him back, she should be a girl and go for him now that they had become divorced.
She had leverage and with a bit of good

conduct, most men would forgive all ills and take back their ex-wives.
Men are programmed to seek peace and allow stuff to slide especially if they feel their woman was just misguided.
It worked!
They will be getting married again this Saturday in Abuja
One year after they got

divorced.
She realised she really wanted him and that she had presumed that the marriage would fail and acted accordingly.
He heard all the secrets and processed them and then forgave her
He felt it was only fair that they try again sincerely for the sake of their children!

I agreed with him
She was not a wicked a woman, she was just misguided and confused and whatever!
They wouldn’t have worked out without the divorce. I am very convinced of that. Some people have to reach the rock bottom before they rise again.

PS: You can lie to a pastor…

And yes the pastor will fall for it
Only a fool expects a pastor to know everything that is not his business
If you lie to me, it is your problem
A pastor will deal with the hand you deal him but lying to pastor and bragging about it on social media shows you were not well raised

I forgot to add that my fingers are usually on the block button in order to unclog my timeline from distraction. If I consider your comment to be lacking in objectivity, I will consider your engagement as unprofitable and I will block you.

Hope you get it.

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