12 Devastating Weapons that Narcissists Use to Destroy You
(Read if you want to arm yourself psychologically against the narcissist)
= THREAD =
(Read if you want to arm yourself psychologically against the narcissist)
= THREAD =
What makes a narcissist so powerful?
They cause immense damage.
They destroy lives, careers, and families.
But how do they manage to do that?
How do they manage to convert a proud human being to a wretched shadow?
Read on if you want to know...
They cause immense damage.
They destroy lives, careers, and families.
But how do they manage to do that?
How do they manage to convert a proud human being to a wretched shadow?
Read on if you want to know...
A narcissist has an arsenal of weapons.
They choose these weapons strategically.
They use them to draw their victim in, suck in their soul and then discard their empty shell.
So here are 12 devastating weapons that narcissists use to destroy you:
They choose these weapons strategically.
They use them to draw their victim in, suck in their soul and then discard their empty shell.
So here are 12 devastating weapons that narcissists use to destroy you:
TL;DR
1. Mirroring
2. Love-bombing
3. Devaluation
4. Gaslighting
5. Triangulation
6. Scapegoating
7. Baiting
8. Breadcrumbing
9. Future Faking
10. Discarding
11. Flying Monkeys
12. Hoovering
1. Mirroring
2. Love-bombing
3. Devaluation
4. Gaslighting
5. Triangulation
6. Scapegoating
7. Baiting
8. Breadcrumbing
9. Future Faking
10. Discarding
11. Flying Monkeys
12. Hoovering
1. Mirroring
Narcissists make you feel that they "get" you.
They know what makes you tick.
They mimic you. They emulate you. They try to be like you.
They take up your interests and activities.
They are the masters of mirrors.
You feel like you are being seen and heard.
Narcissists make you feel that they "get" you.
They know what makes you tick.
They mimic you. They emulate you. They try to be like you.
They take up your interests and activities.
They are the masters of mirrors.
You feel like you are being seen and heard.
But for the narcissist, it's just about gathering data.
They pick your sad stories, weaknesses, and insecurities.
What if you won't share them?
Then they start gaslighting and shaming you.
They coerce you to divulge them.
Then they weaponize it later.
They pick your sad stories, weaknesses, and insecurities.
What if you won't share them?
Then they start gaslighting and shaming you.
They coerce you to divulge them.
Then they weaponize it later.
2. Love-bombing
Love bombing is how narcissists reel you in.
They make grand gestures.
They shower you with extravagant trips or picnics, amazing gifts.
It feels intense. It feels really Instagrammable.
You feel like you are on a pedestal.
Love bombing is how narcissists reel you in.
They make grand gestures.
They shower you with extravagant trips or picnics, amazing gifts.
It feels intense. It feels really Instagrammable.
You feel like you are on a pedestal.
But at some point reality kicks in.
You fall off the pedestal and wonder if you will ever get back up there.
That's how the devaluing and discarding starts.
You fall off the pedestal and wonder if you will ever get back up there.
That's how the devaluing and discarding starts.
3. Devaluation
The love bombing lasts long enough to get you stuck.
Then the devaluation starts once you begin to take a breath.
Devaluation starts with sideways comments and criticism and ignoring.
And soon your life is filled with insults and invalidation.
The love bombing lasts long enough to get you stuck.
Then the devaluation starts once you begin to take a breath.
Devaluation starts with sideways comments and criticism and ignoring.
And soon your life is filled with insults and invalidation.
4. Gaslighting
Gaslighting is having your emotions and your reality denied.
It's saying something and denying it. It's promising something and denying it.
"That never happened."
"I never said that"
"Why can't you let go of the past?"
"You are overreacting."
Gaslighting is having your emotions and your reality denied.
It's saying something and denying it. It's promising something and denying it.
"That never happened."
"I never said that"
"Why can't you let go of the past?"
"You are overreacting."
It's a form of emotional abuse.
It fills you with confusion and doubt.
It's a move to deny your reality.
So that you start accepting the reality of the other person.
It fills you with confusion and doubt.
It's a move to deny your reality.
So that you start accepting the reality of the other person.
5. Triangulation
Triangulation is a weapon for creating chaos.
Classical triangulation takes place in families with 2 or more children.
The narcissistic parent treats one child as the golden child.
The other child is scapegoated and treated poorly.
Triangulation is a weapon for creating chaos.
Classical triangulation takes place in families with 2 or more children.
The narcissistic parent treats one child as the golden child.
The other child is scapegoated and treated poorly.
It creates mistrust amongst the family members.
In romantic relationships, the narcissist may compare you to an ex or colleague.
When you fall for the triangulation, you feel less than who you are.
In romantic relationships, the narcissist may compare you to an ex or colleague.
When you fall for the triangulation, you feel less than who you are.
6. Scapegoating
Every narcissist needs a punching bag or a scapegoat.
Narcissist picks people whom they think as weak or undesirable.
Sometimes, they can also be someone whom the narcissist think as "better" than them.
Every narcissist needs a punching bag or a scapegoat.
Narcissist picks people whom they think as weak or undesirable.
Sometimes, they can also be someone whom the narcissist think as "better" than them.
They can be an employee of a narcissistic boss. Or children of a narcissistic parent.
Scapegoats get the worst of the narcissist.
The narcissist zeroes in on them and blames them for everything.
They become a bucket for receiving the narcissist's rage and misery.
Scapegoats get the worst of the narcissist.
The narcissist zeroes in on them and blames them for everything.
They become a bucket for receiving the narcissist's rage and misery.
7. Baiting
Narcissists want power.
They are driven by this single thing in a relationship.
Baiting is a cruel tactic they use to gain power over you.
Especially when you see the relationship for what it is and try to draw boundaries.
Narcissists want power.
They are driven by this single thing in a relationship.
Baiting is a cruel tactic they use to gain power over you.
Especially when you see the relationship for what it is and try to draw boundaries.
They say cruel and dismissive things to you.
They say hurtful things about people you care about.
They want a high emotional reaction.
When they get that, they use it as an entry point for gaslighting.
The narcissist gets to feel superior to you.
They say hurtful things about people you care about.
They want a high emotional reaction.
When they get that, they use it as an entry point for gaslighting.
The narcissist gets to feel superior to you.
8. Breadcrumbing
A relationship with a narcissist is a famine of validation, empathy, compassion, and respect.
So anytime you get a bit of them, you cherish it and gobble it up.
It's like throwing breadcrumbs to ducks to get them to follow you.
A relationship with a narcissist is a famine of validation, empathy, compassion, and respect.
So anytime you get a bit of them, you cherish it and gobble it up.
It's like throwing breadcrumbs to ducks to get them to follow you.
Breadcrumbing happens when you are starting to pull out, engaging less, and setting boundaries.
And it works. It draws you back in.
It brings you hope for change.
It convinces you that your decision to hold on was correct.
And it works. It draws you back in.
It brings you hope for change.
It convinces you that your decision to hold on was correct.
9. Future Faking
Future faking is a form of manipulation.
The narcissist makes the kind of promises you want to hear.
Wanting to have a family someday.
Buy a house together someday.
Or travel the world someday.
Future faking is a form of manipulation.
The narcissist makes the kind of promises you want to hear.
Wanting to have a family someday.
Buy a house together someday.
Or travel the world someday.
It's a weapon narcissists employ when they realize that you are drawing away.
It gives you enough hope that you swoop right back in.
It gives you enough hope that you swoop right back in.
10. Discarding
Discarding is like throwing out the trash.
The narcissist has grown bored of your narcissistic supply.
So they discard you.
If you try to confront them, you get more gaslighting.
Even worse?
Narcissists often wait for you to do the dirty work.
Discarding is like throwing out the trash.
The narcissist has grown bored of your narcissistic supply.
So they discard you.
If you try to confront them, you get more gaslighting.
Even worse?
Narcissists often wait for you to do the dirty work.
11. Flying Monkeys
Flying monkeys were the minions of the wicked witch of Oz.
They scared Dorothy and did the dirty work the witch didn't want to do.
Similarly, narcissists recruit friends and family members of their victims.
They do this by spreading gossip to them.
Flying monkeys were the minions of the wicked witch of Oz.
They scared Dorothy and did the dirty work the witch didn't want to do.
Similarly, narcissists recruit friends and family members of their victims.
They do this by spreading gossip to them.
The victim loses their support system.
They now get gaslighted by the people they thought they could trust.
It's deeply isolating and destabilizing.
Narcissists use these kinds of smear campaigns to destroy careers, families, and lives,
They now get gaslighted by the people they thought they could trust.
It's deeply isolating and destabilizing.
Narcissists use these kinds of smear campaigns to destroy careers, families, and lives,
12. Hoovering
Hoovering is how the narcissist tries to suck you back.
This happens when you have finally realized your hell and placed boundaries.
Or you have gone no contact.
Or after the narcissist has discarded you.
Hoovering is how the narcissist tries to suck you back.
This happens when you have finally realized your hell and placed boundaries.
Or you have gone no contact.
Or after the narcissist has discarded you.
They use their charm, charisma, their sense of victimhood.
They use your loneliness and guilt.
They say the exact words you wanted to hear.
That they have changed.
That the things will be different from now.
They use your hope.
Fall for that and the hell resumes back again.
They use your loneliness and guilt.
They say the exact words you wanted to hear.
That they have changed.
That the things will be different from now.
They use your hope.
Fall for that and the hell resumes back again.
Now you know the psychological weapons that the narcissist employs.
Be on guard against them.
And what do you do if you feel they are being used on you?
Run.
Run for your dear lives.
Because, when it comes to narcissists, distance and boundaries are your best defense.
Be on guard against them.
And what do you do if you feel they are being used on you?
Run.
Run for your dear lives.
Because, when it comes to narcissists, distance and boundaries are your best defense.
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Then follow me (@resilientthuman) for more such content.
Or join my newsletter for an even more nuanced and in-depth take.
No B.S and fillers. Only actionable advice 👇
resilienthuman.me/newsletter/
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