In order to help hire some of you (sales and cloud economics roles currently open!), it's me: the Worst Employee as imagined by your company's HR department and resulting policies.…
I'm just the right blend of malicious idiot that I should be walked out as soon as I resign; I clearly didn't think to steal any company data BEFORE I resigned.
I'm simultaneously trusted with root in production and not $20 of company money.
I can be fired at any time for any reason or no reason (except based upon membership in a protected class). Here are 2 and a half pages of examples of what I might be fired for.
I'm an SDE III and need to be policed to ensure that I don't describe myself on LinkedIn with a title that another company might possibly understand.
I must be drug tested. Our board gets a pass on this apparently.
I'm a god awful employee, but you're going to discover that by phoning the three people I've put down as references.
I've stayed at each of my jobs for roughly two years, but we both pretend that this is my Forever Job.
I’ve been faking it for twenty years at big tech companies, but your FizzBuzz interview question will finally expose me as the fraud that those other companies fell for.

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More from @QuinnyPig

2 Nov
Hey @jesse_derose we should do a Twitter Spaces about what it means to be a Cloud Economist.

After all...
I am the very model of a modern Cloud Economist
I’ve seen pricing stored in CSV, Parquet and in a JSON list
I’ve walked the booths of re:Invent, and I know services historical
From SQS to EKS, RDS including Oracle
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters more contractual,
Both PPAs and EDPs, multi-cloud and all-in fanatical
About data transfer pricing I'm spitting figures fast and furious,
Hmmm... furious... furious... Aha!
While cross-AZ is bad enough, managed NAT Gateways are usurious
Read 5 tweets
2 Nov
So a less-snarky thread about why you should consider working at The @DuckbillGroup as a Cloud Economist.

Because if you fit the role, you definitely have other options...
First and most key: we want people to succeed here. That means we act like it, starting with the interview. We don't play games – we interview for strengths rather than the absence of weaknesses. aka "nobody will beat you up about things you're not great at."
If you're working more than 40 hours it's a rarity and we should do something about it. We're fixing AWS bills, not SOME NONSENSE HERE. You aren't your job.

Most of us are parents ourselves; absolutely nothing we do here is more important than our lives.
Read 16 tweets
27 Oct
Hello, and welcome to our company's oh-so-very-shitty Security Awareness Training. I'm Chief Cloud Economist Corey Quinn of the Duckbill Group, and I'll be delivering this training for you because I was absolutely NOT the lowest bidder for a change.
The whole point of security awareness is to protect company information. That's what they say, anyway. Here in reality we're going to reference back to the things I spew at you rapid fire and blame you for our institutional shortcomings once we get breached.
Confidentiality is important. Assume that people will read what you write. I know, it's a heavy lift for some of you who haven't figured out that the failure mode of "clever on Twitter" is "being a huge asshole," but pretend it'll be read.
Read 33 tweets
27 Oct
All right, Twitter; time to kick the @awscloud tires on these new Graviton2 Lambda functions.
Now, @alex_casalboni has already done the heavy lifting for me with this dingus.…

It supports the new runtimes even!
I'll deploy it through the Serverless Application Repository, meaning I'm now a full third of that thing's customer base for October.
Read 15 tweets
26 Oct
A second CloudTrail management trail that you never look at.
A developer advocate who can't pass PR certification.
Read 4 tweets
26 Oct
I coulda sworn PIP 15 was an Amazon thing.
Ce n’est pas une PIP.…
Read 9 tweets

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